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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
Edited by WireDrawnPanic: 9/22/2016 6:32:59 AM
167

We need to talk about Titans

Last post for a few, gotta like go think up new ideas. Entry 3. Titans First let me say this. I don't know how I feel about Titans; I guess it really just depends on what subclass they're using. My feeling towards the Arc types in general is... poor; but I'd say I like the other two pretty well, especially the 'bubble blowing babies'. "OP!" You exclaim, "why don't you like arc classes?" Well my dears, that's a story for another post, (got to think ahead ya know?). Anyways back to the Titans. Defenders Ah, Defenders the class no one is allowed to insult. Who's gonna say that a bubble with a 6 foot diameter is broken? (Hah) It's like a challenge no? These guys are the big bouncers of the crucible, if they so no entry allowed, that means, no entry allowed; of course that's unless you want to spend the rest of Destiny swallowing teeth and drinking your meals through a straw. The punch from one of these guys isn't what makes them scary; it's when you melee them and they start laughing. That's what makes them scary. You see other classes go in and fight, then run away; not the Defender, s/he is there to stay, just like that weird rash that appeared on your arm last Summer and you said, "Eh, it'll go away." But never did, (you really should get that checked). The defender laughs at your "heavy" as he slowly, (but surely) makes his way through your team. And body checks your sniper crit. Does that make sense? No! No it doesn't! But the Defender does it anyways! So, how do we kill this beast of a tank you ask? Well how do we beat tanks in real life? By getting a bigger tank! But what if he's in a bubble? Oh sweet summer child, that's even easier. DON'T GO IN THE BUBBLE! It doesn't matter how low they were, once they're in the bubble, the only hope you have of killing them in there, is if they die laughing at how stupid you must be to challenge them in THEIR arena. Seriously Defenders' bubbles aren't made by light; they eat fear and use it to manufacture more bubbles, to gen more fear orbs to make more bubbles, to maximize the size of urine you generate as you realize that, they, AREN'T, TAKING, DAMAGE. Striker You ever play Doom? This class is for people who look at an army and don't think, "I need a bigger gun" they instead throw their gun to the side, throw their head back, laugh and say, "Finally a challenge worthy of my fists!" As the rip and tear through your fire-team like a spoiled 9 year old getting their newest IPhone at Christmas. And then once you think you've finally got a chance to kill them; YOU REALIZE THEY ARE TANKIER THAN DEFENDERS! As they use their Fist of Panic to level you and the surrounding city blocks in an attempt for an easy kill, when you KNOW they could have just shoulder charged and gotten the same kill, but they still, used their Super on you, and they only ever seem to use it on you and that somehow makes you hate them more. It's like a Bladedancer cutting you with knives soaked in lemon juice, not lemonade, just sheer 100% juice. It doesn't make the wound any worse, it just makes it sting more. Especially when it's coming from one of these 10 ton monsters, who Super man punched you from orbit. I mean, who even takes that perk? Do you just hate people that much? So how do we counter the striker? Well, you get good at bowling. [ba dum, tsk] But terrible jokes aside, you stay away from corners. Corners are your enemy now. You see that corner store on fire? You see all those poor puppies trapped inside? That's a trap, Strikers are crafty like that. And they just need 10 clear yards or less to absolutely wreck your s--t. Wide open spaces folks, and shotguns, those are your only friends in the war against Strikers. Got a god-tier Defender with you? Wanna guess which Super can smash you inside? Don't trust anything that limits your range and don't trust a Titan. Sunbreakers Imagine, if you will, that you are Odin and you see a crucible match from above; and the match seems pretty evenly balanced but what's this? There you see a Titan only performing well; so you do the only thing you can. You bless this, your favorite son, with the power of Mjölnir infused with the sun to absolutely destroy the crucible and ensure salt comes from the eyes, of every, other class. Seriously Sunbreakers are fair on their own, nothing too special, until you hear the song... oh that song... the sweet sweet song of sword against sword, and the braying of mighty war beasts; and you hear this voice, like that of a child singing in your ear, "ITS HAMMER TIME BITCHES" as a divine flame drenched hammer swoops down from the heavens and begins to wipe your team. One by one. How do we counter one of the Hammer brothers? Well you have two options, you can summon Ragnorak; and watch as the end times begin, simply because you were afraid of losing a crucible match. Or you can use the buddy system! Simply make sure that you and your buddy have a few words picked out in case Judge Judy starts throwing gavels at you. I find that phrases such as "Oh -blam-, oh -blam- we're all gonna die!" And "Run, child don't look back! Ru-." All seem to do the scenario justice, and just flow off you nice and easy like. Next you simply need run, run like you've never ran before; as the sweet, warm embrace of death comes for you. Hope you all enjoyed these posts; you may see more in the future. Warlocks: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/213407300/0/0 Hunters: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/213357589/0/0 OP takes the fireteam on a trip to... https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/213424158/0/0

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