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5/14/2016 4:02:45 AM
114

I am the greatest wingman

My friend was sleeping over at my house. My parents and brother were all sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching tv, playing video games and shit. At around one am he asks if this girl can come over (he REALLY wants to get with this girl, and I don't want to turn him down so I reluctantly agree, on the condition that she's quiet.) The three of us are hanging out and I make some excuse to leave the room so my friend can have some alone time with this girl. I'm upstairs in my room when I start hearing loud moans. This is bad news for me, but great news for my friend, he's losing his virginity to a girl he really likes. I hear stirring in the next room and I know that their bout of loud lovemaking has woken my parents. The last thing I want is for my confused father to walk in on my friend -blam!-ing this girl in my basement. What do I do? I go to pornhub, click on the first video I see, crank that shit to 100 on my speakers and let it play for the three plus minutes that my buddy ended up lasting. My dad ended up coming into my room, discovering the source of the noise (I even threw in some fapping motion under the covers) and awkwardly leaving. My buddy ended up having "the best -blam!-ing time ever bro" but damn, there were some awkward glances exchanged between my parents and I the next morning.

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