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originally posted in:The Institute
2/11/2014 11:43:31 AM
4

Institute Archive: I deliver unto thee, your Destiny

As per regulations of the Institute, we hereby inform you of the fact that all documents and accounts are 100% accurate and confirmed by the worlds leading scientists in Troll Science. This piece of evidence was claimed from the site it was retrieved from, and it's previous owner was -flagged as sensitive information- at which time Institute members arrived, this was all that remained. The fate of the cameraman, and the person carrying the cure, can only be loosely speculated. --------------- Two men sat on top of a high rooftop, overlooking the streets below. The moon was out, and already the moon worshipers had come out. The man tossed a smoke to the streets below, before turning to his comrade, motioning for him to start the camera. A short beep and things started recording. The man faced the camera. "Okay, so uh, we're here in a #Destiny zone, trying out something. I'm sure you all know what happened right? Okay for any of you that miss the news, I'll give you a rundown, because it's getting faster. We need to stem the tide." The man brought the camera over, and pointed to the streets below. Down below many people had gathered, and were all chanting and praising. The man brought the camera back up. "You've seen them right? #Destiny fans? Used to be fairly small, but now they're all over the place. They just popped up everywhere and spread. Those ones down there are Moon worshipers. They believe the Moon in #Destiny is the most well built and aesthetically pleasing level in the game, and defend that violently. But they're not always violent. They're passive unless you provoke them. Watch this." The man pulled the camera closer, zooming in to the crowd of weather worn, beaten looking human beings, who were all practically as pale as the moon. He yelled out to the streets below. "Hey you guys!" The Moon Worshipers turned their heads in unison. "Mars is the better level! The Moon is ugly and grey!" The man pointed to the crowds, as they started waving red flags, and throwing cans of SPAM up to the building. "See, they're flagging what I said as spam. They'll try to get a higher powers attention, but I didn't do anything wrong. Just an opinion is all. But watch what happens when I step it up a bit." The crowd continued throwing cans of SPAM and waving red flags, when the man yelled out again. "Destiny is overrated, and looks like a clone of Halo! Half the armours look like Spartan stuff and so do the aliens!" The crowd visibly became violent, hammering their pale fists away at the ground, and started looking around, moving about, looking for a way up. The man brought the camera back up. "Now, I've got them stirred up now. They're responding aggressively, but won't do much yet. We don't want to take it up anymore than it is. We go any further and they'll actually try to kill us. Anywho, as you can see this is the problem. And it's not stopping or getting any better. All over the place this is happening. And it's not just Moon Worshipers either. There's hundreds of other types." The man sat back, and pulled a small game case out of his pocket. "See this? This is the only way we can deal with them. You can't reason with them, you can't fight them, and you can't do anything with them that doesn't involve #Destiny. The only thing you can do, is trick them into going somewhere where they think the full games is. We put this baby up on broadcast, over everything in the city, and give them a location, they'll come running. You tell them it's a leaked early copy of the game, and you can lead them anywhere. They're like lemmings. They'll run into a wood chipper if you tell them you dropped the disc and it slipped down to the bottom. Me personally, I like trapping them somewhere all in one location and locking things up. What we're going to do tonight is see if this works on a really large scale." The camera goes black. ------------------- The camera is turned on once more, as the unknown man and cameraman make their way down the streets. The man points out to various people. "See that crowd over there dressed up as aliens and classes? Early cosplayers. Really, really picky about things, and get touchy real fast if you say something about their costume. That crowd over there? Fanfiction. We don't want to go there." The man continues down the street when all of a sudden, a scrawny rag wearing kid runs up to them. He jumps back and forth repeatedly on his feet, shouting happily. "Woah! That Assault Rifle on your back looks like Red Death!" There is a distinct "What?" as the cameraman mutters in the background. The scrawny hyperactive kid stops in his tracks, staring dead on at the camera. The leader puts his hands up defensively. "Easy there buddy, my friend here doesn't know what that is. He doesn't keep up as much as you do." The scrawny child frowns, making an ugly face as he adjusts his glasses. "WHAT? HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT RED DEATH? IT'S THE BEST ASSAULT RIFLE!" The crowds around them suddenly turn on a dime, and slowly wander over. Many various types are seen, cosplayers, fanfic writers, and the worst of all, very jittery, hyperactive people clad in little clothing. They're speculators, imagining what #Destiny will do but take it way too far beyond normal limits. The cameraman is heard shouting something as the clear thunk of a can of SPAM hits his head, and in bright flash of light, the camera drops to the ground. The leader rushes over, picking up the camera in fright. "Oh shit, he said something too offensive to one of them! He got ninja'd!" The crowd is seen continuing to advance, growing ever more menacing, throwing insults and cans of spam around. The leader lowers the camera, filming as he pulls out a small grenade launcher. "I'm going to try and go ahead! This is a temporary distraction tactic, you can only use it a few times before it wears off!" The man fires the grenade launcher up into the air, and films as it explodes into a bright burst of light, before scattering pictures everywhere. The camera jitters as the man runs, as the crowds instinctively try looking at the various pictures. "Booty and tits! They're still human, and can be distracted only for a short time by this!" The camera shakes some more before suddenly stopping, as a pillar of orange light is seen blocking the mans way. The man starts frantically pleading. "No I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't say anything bad!" A figure in the orange light appears, fuzzy and distorted, brandishing a large, silver hammer with the words BAN inscribed across the side. An etheral voice sounds out from the figure, for the briefest of moments. "Nipple slip. Your friend committed a minor offense. However, you have exposed bad things to the eyes of children. Your penalty will be more severe." The last few seconds of the scene play out as the man pleads, rambling incoherently about the Moderator working with the "#Destitards." The mod raises the massive hammer up and blood spatters across the camera screen, where it is promptly dropped on the spot. Through the blood smears the figure of the Mod can be seen standing, as an excited #Destiny worshiper approaches. "Oh my god, a mod came over here! What class are you going to play in Destiny?!" The Mod can be seen patting the worshiper on the head lightly, before disappearing. ---------------

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