[quote]For all other Tower High posts, you can find them all linked on the [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/176176926/0/0]Overview Post[/url].[/quote]
I took some feedback from Food Fight (Part 2) and tried to use it as a basis for making this one a little better.
Hope you guys like it!
Enjoy!
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[b][u]Note[/u][/b]: Xûr has a Boston accent.
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[i]Xûr, the school's janitor, is mopping the floor when all of a sudden, Flint comes by.[/i]
[b]Flint[/b]: Hey there.
[b]Xûr[/b]: Greetings.
[b]Flint[/b]: Lovely weather we're having.
[b]Xûr[/b]: Oh yeah. Same weather we had yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day befo-
[b]Flint[/b]: Yes! It is! Look... I HEARD....that if one was looking to buy [i]heavy ammo[/i] synths... That this would be the place to go...
[b]Xûr[/b]: Maybe. Depends who's asking.
[b]Flint[/b]: Me.
[b]Xûr[/b]: No shit, Stephen Hawkmoon, did your talking wheelchair figure that one out for ya?
[b]Flint[/b]: Well that wasn't nice...
[b]Xûr[/b]: What's your NAME?
[b]Flint[/b]: Flint! My name is Flint! Geez...
[b]Xûr[/b]: What, like a flint lock pistol? Who the hell came up with that?
[b]Flint[/b]: Me! I think it's pretty catchy. You know. Cuz I'm a Gunslinger.
[b]Xûr[/b]: Kid, the only thing catchy that you're slingin' is dead brain cells.
I'm honestly afraid that one one of these days, I'm gonna catch stupid from all you Taken Tots... Look, do you have any strange coins?
[b]Flint[/b]: No, what are those?
[b]Xûr[/b]: These stupid little coins that I have an unexplained fetish for. They're warm and they vibrate when you touch em.
[b]Flint[/b]: Oh yeah! I've got lots of those.
[i]Flint holds out a handful for Xûr.[/i]
[b]Xûr[/b]: Ahhh come to papa!
[i]Xûr takes the coins, and gives some heavy ammo back to Flint.[/i]
[b]Flint[/b]: Thanks! Pleasure doing business.
[b]Xûr[/b]: You too, kid.
[i]Xûr lifts up his robe.[/i]
[b]Flint[/b]: WOAH WOAH WOAH, what're you doing?!
[b]Xûr[/b]: Putting them in my inventory? What, do you think I'm just gonna hold em in my hand all day like the Statue of Liberty or something?
[b]Flint[/b]: I guess not... Wait a minute. Where's your inventory?
[i]Xûr looks at Flint.
Flint looks at Xûr.[/i]
[b]Flint[/b]: WHAT THE F*CK.
[b]Xûr[/b]: They've gotta go somewhere.
[b]Flint[/b]: Yeah, but THERE?! How is that even possible?!
[b]Xûr[/b]: It's okay, kid, I can handle it. My ass is bigger than it looks.
[b]Flint[/b]: Hoe. Lee. Shit. I can't believe you're that screwed up.
[b]Xûr[/b]: Hey, way to be judgmental! I didn't ask to be this way!
[b]Flint[/b]: Damnit, just get it over with already.
[b]Xûr[/b]: Okay, okay! I'm going!
[b][i]----------------------------
Five minutes later...
----------------------------[/i][/b]
[b]Flint[/b]: ........
[b]Xûr[/b]: ........
[b]Flint[/b]: What the hell.
[b]Xûr[/b]: I told you, my ass is like a clown car.
[b]Flint[/b]: That was disgusting. And why did you have so many tentacles?!
[b]Xûr[/b]: What?
[b]Flint[/b]: Tentacles! The tentacles you had!
[b]Xûr[/b]: I don't know what you're saying, what's a tentacle?
[b]Flint[/b]: Wait, but then what were they?
[b]Xûr[/b]: ........
[b]Flint[/b]: .......
[b]Xûr[/b]: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[b]Flint[/b]: NOPE! NOPE NOPE NOPE!
I DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW!
I feel like I've gotta skin my eyeballs and soak em in bleach to get clean!
[b]Xûr[/b]: Actually, that'd probably kill you.
[b]Flint[/b]: I already feel dead!
[b]Xûr[/b]: I'm not surprised, you're a Gunslinger.
[b]Flint[/b]: F*ck you.
[b]Xûr[/b]: F*ck you too.
[b]Flint[/b]: I'M DONE! Thank you, kind sir, for scarring my eyes! I will most certainly NOT see you later.
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Hoe. Lee. Shit I'm dying, great work.
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Realization in 3, 2, MY EYES, THEY BURNNNNNN!!!
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I got as far as the Lenny face then I just started to die XD
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Lost it when Xûr used a Lenny Face
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Lost it at "they've gotta go somewhere" and couldn't stop laughing til halfway through the comments. A masterpiece.
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Yay I'm introduced <3 ◕‿◕
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Edited by Waevd: 1/20/2016 6:01:13 AM[quote]my ass is like a clown car[/quote]
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"Like a flint lock pistol?" No, like flint Lockwood
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Well this explains so much. Never visting Xur peacefully again...
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Whut da fak! That was awesome and yet I feel like I want to rip my eyes out now. Good job man.
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Why isn't this on youtube
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Not a big fan of the freedoms you took with Xur's character, but the Cryptology story was good.
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Bumping
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Claps
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‘‘I told you, my ass is like a clown car'' I LOST IT
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I died at stephen hawkmoon XD
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OMG I'M DYING!!!!
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As a gunslinger. I approve, well done. Well done indeed
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I like reading all of these even though it seems like something I normally wouldn't be into. That means you did a good job
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Dark turns
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Please, nerf Xurs butt hole :(
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Thas enough internet.
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Wow, this one may have gone a little too far... Nice job though, keep it up
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[quote] [b]Flint[/b]: What the hell. [b]Xûr[/b]: I told you, my ass is like a clown car. [b]Flint[/b]: That was disgusting. And why did you have so many tentacles?! [b]Xûr[/b]: What? [b]Flint[/b]: Tentacles! The tentacles you had! [b]Xûr[/b]: I don't know what you're saying, what's a tentacle? [b]Flint[/b]: Wait, but then what were they? [b]Xûr[/b]: ........ [b]Flint[/b]: ....... [b]Xûr[/b]: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [b]Flint[/b]: NOPE! NOPE NOPE NOPE! I DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW! I feel like I've gotta skin my eyeballs and soak em in bleach to get clean![/quote] I'm done with life right now.