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#Community

Edited by Helveck: 3/4/2015 12:40:29 PM
277

You're a Terrible Community Member

Hi there, and welcome to this thread. Continue reading to find out why [b]YOU[/b] might just be the worst thing to happen to this Community, or if you are considered Royally Blue. Before entry, I'm just going to need to see your Membership Year badge in order to grant you access. Whoa, hold the phone there, scrub! That's just a dirty Six Year badge you got there. You know what that means? You're bad and you should feel bad. No amount of Dragon threads would ever allow me to accept you for the monstrosity that you are. No sir! Hi there, folks. Some of you fine people might know me here as Helveck. And I've come to deliver a message: It's time to restore things to the finer days. It's time to bring back the Elitism of old. The days when we were free to walk on the lesser creatures here that called themselves "Members", "Heroic Members" and "Legendary Members" have returned. This new standard has been implemented and officiated by yours truly! And if you're a member with 6 Years or less on this site, and in this forum... Just know one thing: You're trash. That's right, you're a disappointment and an inferior specimen. This forum was once ripe with incredible and superior individuals. Their words allowed this place to shine, and brought to life the truest form of beauty and majesty that my eyes had ever seen. And most importantly, we kept the lower beings in their place... Way down in the dirt where they belong. So, in order to clearly divide the classes, I think it's appropriate to devise a set of rules for each population. [b]New Age Mythics[/b] [i](Seven years or more)[/i]: [b]1.[/b] Every forum entry must clearly state in some way, your superior nature to everyone around you. [b]2.[/b]If a lesser being argues with you, remind them that they do not posses a Membership Badge above Seven Years and as such, all words in which they speak are simply mindless ramblings that no one cares about. [b]3.[/b] It is your right as a New Age Mythic to tell the lesser people how pointless their threads are, and how they are nothing but a plague on his Community. [b]4.[/b] Remind lesser people that in addition to their inferior intellectual capabilities, that they will also never be as beautiful as you are. [b]5.[/b] If the lesser creatures do not flatter you and shower you with compliments, gifts, and gift baskets (usually a combination of crackers, wines and assorted cheeses) PM Moderators and Mentors immediately to rectify this situation. If that does not work, PM Achronos or DeeJ. [b]6.[/b] If you make a thread a post, and one of the lesser kinda makes a reply directed at you, simply ignore them. Never quote them and never give them any attention. Doing this would deceive them into thinking they possess something relevant to share, when we all know this is simply not true. [b]7.[/b] You know what? Just mute them. Mute all of them. Not a member with 7+ Years? Yup, muted. [b]New Age Inferiors[/b] (Six years or less): [b]1.[/b] Don't post. [b]2.[/b] If you're dumb enough to break rule #1, immediately PM every member with a badge that is Seven Years or older and apologize for your insolence while also stating that you have learned the error of your ways. [b]3.[/b] If you STILL feel compelled to post for whatever asinine reason, simply remember that you must always quote and agree with whatever a certain New Age Mythic might be saying. The comfort here is knowing that we are never wrong. [b]4.[/b] Did you post something stupid? That's ok, we expect that from you! Simply PM Achronos asking him to permanently delete your account, and for an added measure of safety, to ban your IP address. Have a nice holiday! [b]5.[/b] Whether on the bus, or at your computer desk... If you enter a thread and you see a New Age Mythic, remember to display your reverence by grovelling before us. Make sure that nose touches the ground! We don't want you half-assing this now! [b]6.[/b] Know that you [i]are[/i] bad. And you're only getting six shitty rules for your six shitty years (If that). Well, that's all for now folks! Hopefully with these new rules in place, we can all work together towards making this a better, and far superior area of this site. A place where we can once again bask in the glory of our own greatness.

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  • You are the accumulation of the most vile substances ever to be spouted forth from the greasy loins of Hades. You seep of putrid filth from the gutter of a homeless man’s taint. Every time I look in your general direction, I vomit in my mouth and pray for the sweet release of death. Your yuppie -blam!-ing smirk tweaks me to drench a thousand innocent puppies in gasoline and set them ablaze like the bowels of the inferno from whence you came. Let the dark pits of hell swallow you up and sodomize you with the grainiest sandpaper on the scorched surface of earth. In the name of all -blam!-ing things holy, don’t you ever dare procreate, because if you do, so help me god I will wipe out every tiny allele of your genetic information from the pungent shitstain that is this planet. Until the end of time I will scour the earth for all that you love and dice it into bloody, meaty bits. The mere thought of your petty existence brings tears to my eyes, and summons up a relentless fury inside me that’s sole purpose is to make you rue the day that you were conceived on that contaminated dormroom floor upon which your parents so sweatily -blam!-ed. On dark nights when the crescent moon shines and the crickets chirp, I lie awake and contemplate the base and depraved ways I will make your life a living hell until the end of time. When you speak, each time your sleazy mouth flickers open, I do not process your impotent words, yet only seize it as another god-given opportunity to bash your teeth down your moist, scummy gullet. Every movement you make, every single -blam!-ing involuntary twitch makes me hate you with more burning passion than the last. I resent you with every ounce of my being; and in the end, with all the strengths inside me, regardless of what cancerous cells overcome my body, or the decrepit condition my aging figure has been reduced to, I will fight to stay alive so I can laugh maliciously in my head as your family whimpers over your untimely demise. [spoiler]Please don't take my copy pasta seriously. [/spoiler]

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