When someone says something mean just yell at them [spoiler]GO SIT ON A PINECONE![/spoiler] [spoiler]its unexpected and they'll back off instantly[/spoiler]

＜￣｀ヽ、　　　　　　　／￣> 　ゝ、　　＼　／⌒ヽ,ノ 　/´ 　　　ゝ、　`（ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ／ 　　 　　>　 　 　,ノ 　　　　　∠_,,,/´” YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH THE LEVEL 10 RARITY OWL LENNY. LIKE THIS POST AND YOU WILL BE BLESSED WITH THE GIFT OF LENNY

Back in freshman year, there was this little shitwad Diego. Well this little shit thought he was cool and tough and was always looking for people to fight. In the meantime, I had been having a real rough time. Family member had gotten I'll, another had died, etc. So I was not having the best of times. Then on top of that, I was having a really bad bad day. So I'm off minding my own business in auto when, out of nowhere, Diego kicks me in the leg. So I reached around and punched him in the jaw. He apparently took offense to it and said, and I quote, "We fighting after school now fool" So I go through my day, nothing out of the ordinary. School ends , I go to the area where we are supposed to fight. Little bastard, should've known, brought two of his friends with him. I say to him "You so scared you need backup" and he responds with "Not to fight a little b***h like you". And then he swings. I knock his hand away and give him a good jab to the gut. He's now pissed. He swings again, so I grab his and twist it behind him, thinking about breaking his arm. Then his friends start to join n. I didn't notice and I get hit right in the jaw. Now I'm mad. I get up and punch one in the stomach so hard he staggered back. I take that chance to grab him by throat and choke him, knocking him out. The third guy looks at me, astounded, as they thought I couldn't fight at all. I punched him in the face so hard that he fell unconscious. The a-hole that started the fight saw the exchange and tried to run. I chased after and tackled him, punching him enough that I broke his nose and gave him two black eyes. I told them not to tell anyone who beat the shit out of them, made them them swear, less they wanted the shit beat out of them again. They ended up telling students about it, but word never reached administration. Haven't seen any of them in awhile (I'm a senior now), but no one else has dared to mess with me since.

>be me >at sport >you up to get change >running with friend behind me >ugly girl: "is sport done" >me: "naaahhh (sarcasm) >ugly girl: "you don't have to be a c about it" >friend: "well does it look like its done" >ugly girls uglier friend(also friends ex): "not only are you a d but you broke a girls heart" > wasn't paying attention to who said it > ask friend >he says its ex who said it >me " whoa did you just say broke a girls heart?" >uglier girl: "yes dumb a$$" Me: "I didn't know you were a girl" Friend: "ooooooohhhhhhhh"

I set a kid on fire. You can say he got burned pretty good.

Extreme language below.[spoiler]doo doo head[/spoiler]

I once called someone a poohead.

Told someone they were a fgt.

Ur mum.

So a year ago, I was in 8th grade, and I had a haircut that some people (who don't know what they are talking about) thought was gay. So one day, one of my friends cousin, who was in 6th grade and had absolutely the worst yearbook picture ever, said jokingly, "how is your gay haircut doing?" I reply, "pretty good. How is your yearbook picture doing?" He got all pissy and stormed off. Edit:Posted the picture :) Edit: selected answer lol Edit: lol 50 replies. Never saw that coming >_<

OP: "Oh and by the way since all you nerds want to keep insulting me...i can deadlift 300 lbs." Me: "Lifting your 300 pound ass out of a chair doesn't count."

Well I recorded the kid screaming at me over xbl......so the whole world could enjoy it! Lel https://youtu.be/lXMskKTw3Bc

Ok sit down this is gonna take me a minute Rewind back to the age of MySpace. I'm single. I get a message from a chick, Interested no less. Wants to talk, maybe lead to more. I look at her profile, from Texas (3 States over from me). I kindly express my dissinterest. About 3 days later, i get a message back. It was super heated. Telling me how I'm such an animal and people like me should be hung for not liking people of her type. Instant wtf. I look at her profile a little closer. Shit. Wheelchair. So i have a little fun. I mean who is this bitch to blame me for something that had nothing to do with that? I didn't want a friend that far off, my bad for not explicitly mentioning that. So i send her a message back, and i quote, "i didn't know you were in a wheelchair. I didn't care. I simply didn't want a friend 3 States over. And if you have a problem with it, I'll be here waiting on you *address redacted*. At the top of the stairs"

Well.... A week ago (BTW I'm in eighth grade) this kid in my class who is a REAL pain in the hind quarters starts to try and jank on a little Indian kid sitting in front of him. I of course sit next to the first kid and what happened next played out exactly like this First kid: you little Indian s***'s too smart you don't need to be getting the right answers all the d*** time Indian friend: bruh I'm not the one with d's in every class First kid proceeds to punch my friend in the shoulder so I turned towards him and said... Me: dude, he would cuss out your mom, but in his country, cows are sacred. The rest of the class teacher included went completely silent for about 3 seconds.then Rest of the class: DA-DA-DA- DAAAAAAANG!!!!!

when my ex popped up to me on hot or not

I would go out with you but I can't afford alpo dog food

I hated my step father with a huge passion so when I was like 10 I was starting to "discover" myself so whenever my parents went shopping I would go into their bathroom, take a condom and jerk off into it. I did this for about a week and one day my mom starting bitching and throwing stuff at my step father telling him to get out of the house cause she thought he was cheating on her cause a box of 10 condoms went missing in less then a week. We moved to a different state and I never saw him again after that.

Friend: bitch i get multiple hoes Friend 2: you sure? Friend: yea black boy Me: imaginary ones dont count Everyone: OH DAYUUUM & OH SHIT!

guy told me suk a dik so I made him suk a dik

Last year, presenting my groups project on social media, at fun facts section. Me: Instagram has over 15 million photos. People must love selfies! Popular girl in my class: it's not just selfies. Me: oh really? Then what else is it? Her: umm..... Photos? Me: checkmate Her: nerd Me: go drink another pumpkin spice latte you stereotype. Rekt

So a few days ago me and a few mates are playing bo3, this kid who's a twat who was somehow our friend wanted my mate to just up and leave us and go play competitive with him, my mate being awesome said no, cuz he's playing with us (keep in mind this twat was playing with a mate already so it's not a big deal whatsoever) anyway, he's goes off on one just cuz my mate wont play on cod with him (he's 19 years old, I know, -blam!-ing immature) and saying how he's wasting his life playing for us and my mate could easily go pro (he's really good, like -blam!-ing insanely good) my mate goes on saying how he doesnt care, he just wants to have a laugh (oh and this is all over facebook messenger, not actually talking) anyway we go back to playing and the twat wont stop -blam!-ing moaning. So one of my mates decide to have a bit of fun and makes a group chat on psn where he makes an emblem of a guy screwing a girl with a caption saying "your mom", needless to say we werre in the stitches and the twat starts getting even more pissy and starts insulting my mate and my muslim friend who is just putting emoticons in the chat(why I mention he's muslim? because the twat says this) "Get this paki c*nt outta here someone call ISIS on this foreign -blam!-" yeah too far I know. Needless to say in this chat I haven't said anything to this point, all I did was put in a thumbs up, I'm just reading everything that's going on the chat until he starts on me for whatever reason and says, "Tom when you gettin a girl or you always gonna be a reject tip for ya sunny jim that thumb above will come in useful over your dick so pipe down virgin boy", he always thinks he's better than anyone cuz he has a gf, but the relationship is as unstable as a bloody rocking horse where they pretty much break up every month, needless to say I laughed and figured, this guy has called me out, I must stand my ground, and reply with, "for the record, I have a gf, and I take virgin as a compliment, you know why? cuz they're going extinct, just like you're relationship" needless to say the party I was in blew up with "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for 5 minutes straight. TL;DR mate (no longer mate) says to me, "Tom when you gettin a girl or you always gonna be a reject tip for ya sunny jim that thumb above will come in useful over your dick so pipe down virgin boy" me to him, "for the record, I have a gf, and I take virgin as a compliment, you know why? cuz they're going extinct, just like you're relationship" (they constantly break up)

I was in science class today. My teacher hands a pile of papers to the first person in my row. She's supposed to take one and pass the rest down, but she's to busy talking with someone next to her, so I say "It would be great if you can pass the rest of us those papers." All of a sudden she starts talking about my attitude and how sarcastic I am (I naturally have a tone of voice that appears to be sarcastic) so she continues, as the hole class is listening, I stop her in the middle of a sentence and say "You should hear your bitching voice before you talk about anyone else." The hole class lit up like Christmas. She tells the teacher to give me a referral, but I told her she got what was coming to her. My teacher was still laughing and saying aloud about how it's so true.