When I was walking my grandma's dogs along the beach, I saw a girl from school I hated and the two dogs went apeshit on her, so I accidentally dropped the lead and after a good 5 minutes of them chasing her down the beach, I pick up the lead and say "Sorry, they're bred to catch rats." I then proceed to skip home and sip hot chocolate.
[b][i][u]NEW SUBMISSIONS[/u][/i][/b]
You can now tell us the funniest (naughty) thing you've ever done.
It's a long story, ask for full story if you want but we basically bought 10 condoms from a dispenser in a restaraunt bathroom and blew them up [spoiler]Kaboom [/spoiler] like ballons and stuffed them in a stall
We have 911 posts
Another rek is
"I dont have the time, nor the crayons to explain that to you
1k lmao
English
#Offtopic
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Edited by dylan: 12/30/2015 11:17:14 PMMy friend said hi so I slap him
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One black guy tried to slice me up with a lasersword once slapped him across the face with spinnin baton of destruction.
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My friend is all like "ur bad" And i said "no u" Btw i made up no u Its tru Ama
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Threw a candle on a girls cotton shirt I burnt her so hard
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my ex texted me merry christmas n i said k
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I heated up the doorknob and when a robber tried to open the door he burned his hand. [spoiler]yee[/spoiler]
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My friend sent me a photo of him and his grill. I sent back a photo of Sid the Sloth and said I see no difference...
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One day when my friends were over I was sick so my mom made me sleep in her bed. I woke up washed her sheets and had to make the bed and my sister and bro helped. Sister: why do we have to tuck in the sheets mom and dad are just going to ruin them again! Me: why should mom and dad feed us we will just get hungry again. Bro: I got my keys u ready to go to the hospital sis? Cuz u just got burned!
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Edited by MoWie: 12/19/2015 1:26:37 AM"Why don't you cut your hair" "Why don't you cut your face" #thuglife Ain't it good to be a gangster
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I got into an argument over who was better in PVP on forums , he said that his medal score was 2.3 m Me : [spoiler] I asked for your medal score , not your cholesterol [/spoiler]
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My sister gets in there car and sees a kohls bag, she says "what's that?", I respond "my new clothes", she points to the empty box in that back, "what's that", I say "your new clothes" I have others but that was the first one to come to mind
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Huzzah! Hemo esmorticus!
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So this ghetto girl was always saying shit about me not having any girlfriend, and she practically ends every sentence with "so suck my dick" So one day when she says that, I say "well if I had a girlfriend, I could keep her down; you've had 7 'boyfriends' in the past month" then I lean over to her and whisper in her ear "so suck my dick and like it"
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Not really a burn but, I called my little brother ugly. He said "thats not what your mother said" xD
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Edited by Esmuylechuga: 12/9/2015 2:23:20 AM
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Another quality thread gg op
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I've roasted people
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"You know what u and me both have in common?" "What?" "We were both inside your muuther!!"
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Friend asked what's it like to be a potato I reply, "I don't know look in a mirror and tell me"
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Me: name one thing bigger than life Friend:Ha, my dick Me: life is pretty short Other friends:OHHHHHH DAYUMMM
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My friend was all like, "ur dumb" and I was all like, "no u"
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When someone says something mean just yell at them [spoiler]GO SIT ON A PINECONE![/spoiler] [spoiler]its unexpected and they'll back off instantly[/spoiler]