How can I cure his case of "the gays"?
I tried waterboarding, but that didn't cure it.
I even put his boyfriends' cocks in the microwave,but that didn't work. (yes, he has more than one boyfriend-I taught him to be a good player, he's just playing for the wrong team.)
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Tie him down, cut him open, and remove his intestines. That way, he can't -blam!- another guy ever. For good measure, strangle him with said removed entrails.