{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
Edited by Heron:
7/19/2015 6:43:19 AM
165
Tell me a bedtime story
-
1 ReplyOnce upon a time there was an ugly barnacle And he was so ugly that everyone died [spoiler]the end[/spoiler]
-
4 Replies[b][/b]
-
[spoiler]Glen Died[/spoiler]
-
[i]1000 caps[/i]
-
We have stepped in war with beds on earth so let get to sleeping one by one ok pulls out thorn everyone sleeping now
-
Go the fu[b]c[/b]k to bed or I'm killing you with a gun
-
I can share a short story I wrote earlier this year if you're interested.
-
2 Replies- Once upon a time - *Starts sleeping* - HEY Wake Up! - Wha! I'm up - Ok once upon a time -*Snoring* - SCREW THIS - *Pulls out RPG* - Evrybdy ded The End!
-
1 ReplyEdited by Caboose: 10/26/2015 4:01:47 AMOnce there was a guy named Andersmith. He was the coolest person ever. Then I found out he was not real. The end. [spoiler]RvB reference[/spoiler] [spoiler]I couldn't think of anything[/spoiler]
-
-
Edited by Lord Huron: 10/26/2015 2:49:04 AMI was a little boy. I sucked on my thumbs. My mommy said to stop. I didn't respond because I just kept suckin my tasty thumbs. The next day mother came in my room. The following day, after i cleaned mothers mess, mom entered my room and cut off my tasty thumbs. I then looked around and began sucking on my index fingers. My mother then told me to stop. I didn't so then she cut off my index fingers. I cried myself to sleep that night. I begged and pleaded with her the other day But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way. She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket, I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it!" First class, yo this is bad Drinkin' orange juice out of a champagne glass; Is this what the people of Bel Air are livin' like? Hmmm, this might be alright But wait, I hear they're prissy, bourgeois and all that Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat? I don't think so, I'll see when I get there I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel Air Well, uh, the plane landed and when I came out. There was a dude look like a cop standin' wavin' my name out, I ain't tryin' to get arrested yet, I just got here I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, nah forget it, yo home to Bel Air I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, And I yelled to the cabby, "Yo homes, smell you later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel Air!
-
5 RepliesOnce upon a time there was a man named Bill. Bill loved cookies. Bill ate a lot of cookies. Bill got diabetes and died. The End [spoiler]leik dis if u cri evertim[/spoiler]
-
You get a year one gjallahorn from oryx the end.
-
Edited by Auver: 10/26/2015 1:44:51 AMOnce upon a time you got räpëd and everyone lived shittily ever after. The end
-
1 ReplyI don't feel like it.
-
2 RepliesOnce upon a time a bunch of people had happy endings. The End.
-
12 RepliesI was only 9 years old I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies I pray to shrek every night before bed thanking him for the life I've been given. Shrek is love I say, Shrek is life My dad overhears me and calls me a -blam!- I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek I called him a -blam!- He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep Im crying now, and my face hurts I lay in bed and its really cold A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me Its shrek I am so happy He whispers in to ear "this is my swamp He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees I'm ready I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek He penetrates my butthole It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water I push against his force I want to please Shrek He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love My dad walks in Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says "Its all ogre now" Shrek leaves through my window Shrek is love, Shrek is life [spoiler]hahahhahahaha..[/spoiler] [spoiler]pls don't see this CrashbangXD[/spoiler]
-
1 ReplyOnes there was a girl, who befriended shadows. She didn't know they were shadows, they seemed as real as could be. They listened to her, heard her stories, and talked to her too. The girl was thrilled to have friends like these, so loyal! So kind, she'd think. The shadows would talk to her in the morning, and they'd come over to her house to play games. But one day, the sun went down, and this was new and frightening to the girl. She only knew to find her friends, the shadows. The funny thing about shadows is that they go away when the sun goes down. The girl searched for her shadows, but they were gone, without a trace. She searched for hours, days, months, she searched for so long she was lost and couldn't find her way home. So she sat there, alone, in the ruins of the world she constructed for herself. After a while of sifting through the ruins, looking for her shadows, she realized they were never really there. She finally figured out they were shadows, but she forever sat in the ruins, because she didn't know how to rebuild. The sun never came up for her, and she still sifts through the ruins, not looking for shadows, but looking for an escape, because she is broken and only the shadows, the nonexistent shadows, can fix her The end.
-
3 RepliesStory of two sides fighting in a boxed canyon Have fun laughing your ass off
-
1 ReplyThere were once 3 kings. These 3 kings were brothers who, though they had differences, cared for each other. The first king, the greedy, short-sighted one proposed, "we shall divide the kingdom into 3 parts, one for each of us." The second brother, the strong one said, "Great idea! It will allow us the govern the land and tend to our people better." The third brother however, the wise one, said, "I will have no part in this, my part will go you," he gestured toward the strongest, and then left without another word. He gave no inclination as to where he was going. After many years of governing their sections, the greed driven brother was ready to begin his plan. He has amassed an implacable army, the likes of which his brother could never stand to. He moved toward his brothers land, planning on taking the 1/3 given to the brother. The brother met him their with his own army, smaller by far but still more valiant than any of the scoundrels or mercenaries the first king had hired. When they met, they exchanged no words, and when the battle was over, there was not a single man left standing to speak a word. Both kings lay dead. The third brother, having known it would come to this, came back. In the end, it was the one who gave up the land, to take ALL of it. Now, I've got to sleep as well. It's like 10:00.
-
1 ReplyThere once was a prince, Who lived far far away. He had a difficult life since, He was just so gay. He sucked lots of dick, Big and small. Pete or Rick, He sucked them all. He became so good at it, He started to boast: "I is fgt, And I made this post."
-
Once upon a time, there was a guy that wanted a bedtime story. After millions of #Offtopic users posted weird junk, a monster came and ate the universe. The End
-
1 ReplyHigh quality thread idea. Maybe I'll post the story I thought up another time.
-
1 ReplyEdited by thomas: 10/25/2015 2:39:05 AMOnce upon a time there was a handsome man named Brad.Brad liked to post shit posts on Bungie.net.One time he even make a bed time story. [b]THE END[/b]
-
4 RepliesEdited by Vaerton: 10/25/2015 2:35:51 AMOnce there was an ugly barnacle, that the other barnacles felt bad for him. So they became friends and they hung out together 24/7. [spoiler]Because they can't move... so they kinda have to.[/spoiler]
-
2 RepliesGoodnight! :)
