He'd be Sepiks Lime.
If Xur was a chiropractor, he'd be an Agent of the Spine.
Edit: Keep up the Destiny puns guys, I'm loving it :D
Edit2: Oh my Sepiks Prime, we broke 1000 punny posts!
Edit3: I can't believe this topic is still around.
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I could tell you a Destiny joke... ... But I Phogoth it.