It would be a well tempered yet rather sarcastic / condescending walrus with an affinity for video games.
That is all.
Edit:
You know it's true, don't deny it.
[Edited on 11.15.2012 12:54 AM PST]
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I think it would have rather large teeth, and maybe be ridden by the mod of the day. That way all mods get a turn at riding the walrus. Only seems fair.