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9/27/2009 8:38:30 PM
649
No wonder humanity was almost wiped out!
At the beginning of the Halo series, humanity had weapons that made the Covenant crap their pants. The standard UNSC pistol could be used as a freakin' anti-air weapon! The rocket launcher obliterated everything nearby, and the vehicles were completely indestructible.
Meanwhile, the Covenant were equipping their highest ranking Elites with fuzzy blue things that did nothing but make the humans laugh, as they used bullets to kill enemies rather than fists.
Then, the UNSC had a sudden urge to "balance" their equipment. They made it so the pistol couldn't kill a grunt, let alone a Covenant ship. They also turned their vehicles into fast-moving deathtraps that the enemy could now hijack. The only improvements that were made during this period were an improved rocket launcher that was able to lock on to enemy vehicles, and an increased budget that allowed the UNSC to get every marine a driver's license.
At the same time, the Covenant upgraded their blue fuzzy things into something resembling a sword, and it could now allow the user to fly 50 feet towards any desired target. In addition, they developed a weapon similar to the UNSC's rocket launcher, except the user could fire approximately 1 bajillion rounds before reloading.
The UNSC then created a weapon similar to the original stardard-issue pistol, but instead of making it standard issue, it was reserved for maniacs who enjoy getting launched from orbital stations for a living. This new pistol was decommissioned after six hours.
The Covenant then realized that marines were using the plasma pistol and BR55 together to kill shielded Covenant easier, so they did the only logical thing and made the plasma pistol completely useless.
In order to combat Banshees in the absence of the pistol, the UNSC designed Hornets which, while incredibly boring to fly, looked totally kick ass.
Not wanting to fall behind on the manufacturing of overpowered weapons that make no sense, the Covenant designed a seven foot tall hammer that could destroy any enemy with one hit. This weapon was of course down graded when the Covenant realized it was useful.
Only with the help of the Elites with their retarded glowy things that somehow enabled the wielder to fly towards enemies, was humanity able to survive.
Weapons in the future [b]suck[/b].
[Edited on 03.02.2011 9:49 PM PST]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] petarded2 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Mutoid Log [quote]Hornets, a slower moving, hard to operate vehicle that was only semi-competent at killing infantry units.[/quote]have you even used one[/quote] If given the choice between a Banshee and a Hornet, which one would you choose? [quote] [/quote] Depends. Surgical strikes = T26 Ground Support Aircraft. Fly in and waste everything = AV-14 VTOL Attack Aircraft. Evade stuff while laying down covering fire = UH-144.
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Cool overveiw
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lol lol lol haha me like
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Dont even mention the spartan's downgrades. During the battle of reach, there were spartans who had night vision on there helmets. Then they downgraded to cheap flashlights that only had about five minutes of battery life before they die.
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haha!
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Another thing too, I'm not sure if this was mentioned but the SPARTANS are just getting weaker and weaker. IIs were the peak then IIIs were basically bread to die and not survive. Now I hear rumors of IVs who are made up of adult volunteers? Come on Humanity lets learn from out mistakes. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] RoundHammer117 A somewhat serious addition to a well written, humorous and sarcastic jibe. Provided a good laugh, my compliments Petarded! In all honesty, I would rather have the M4 I used in iraq and afghanistan than employ any of what the game designers, in all seriousness, call infantry small arms. Those players who are Veterans generally have an unfavorable opinion of games whose designers do not do even basic research on the subject of firearms. 7.62x51mm NATO, a cartridge first selected in 1954, is the standard in the 26th century? Just one of these rounds can liquify a human head at 800 meters and beyond, yet it cannot kill a pudgy, asthmatic alien munchkin at point-blank range? Really Bungie . . .? This "Two Mags: One Kill" nonsense, even in Halo: Reach, on the big purple lizards provides no end of frustration. To say nothing of multi-player. That, or the UNSC Corps of Logistics needs to procure cartridges employing ACTUAL bullets. Not like Bungie cares . . . they got the money already. Good thing I never paid for my copy of Reach . . .[/quote] Lol it's not supposed to be a realistic game the weapons are situation based. That's why they have 2 rifles instead of 1 with a rate of fire switch..... [Edited on 12.24.2011 1:28 PM PST]
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lol haahaaahaahaahahahaahhaahhaahahahahaaahaahaahahhahahhaahaahhahhahahahhahhahahahhahahhahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhaahahhahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahahahahahhahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahahahahha
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*Thread saved* Win.
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Haha, very good :)
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[quote]The only useful addition was the ODST variation of the pistol, but as the OP stated, there were like 6 in existence.[/quote] probally 7 knowing bungie
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tehe lol so true bring back the halo 1 tank
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] petarded2 In addition, they developed a weapon similar to the UNSC's rocket launcher, except the user could fire approximately 1 bajillion rounds before reloading.[/quote] It's official: [u]1 bajillion = 5 units[/u]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] germanhalo covenant drop ship shields [/quote] ? [quote] They also came out with A LOT more human weapons, but this is only coming from the Halo video games.[/quote] Quality=/=quantity The only useful addition was the ODST variation of the pistol, but as the OP stated, there were like 6 in existence.
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Amen!!! lol back then humans had the best weapons...
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Ha Ha Ha well said!
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the spartan laser is the most powerful human weapon in halo. so yeah
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<3 OP you win!!!
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] SPARTAN2842 Sounds like someone is angry with the weapons..... Although what about the Spartan Laser? I hate that thing.....[/quote] It would be useful against paraplegic fat people, unless of course they has metal shields... or fell over then it would miss completely. Oh and somehow 343 guilty spark was killed by it... so there you go... one use for the Spartan Laser.
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A somewhat serious addition to a well written, humorous and sarcastic jibe. Provided a good laugh, my compliments Petarded! In all honesty, I would rather have the M4 I used in iraq and afghanistan than employ any of what the game designers, in all seriousness, call infantry small arms. Those players who are Veterans generally have an unfavorable opinion of games whose designers do not do even basic research on the subject of firearms. 7.62x51mm NATO, a cartridge first selected in 1954, is the standard in the 26th century? Just one of these rounds can liquify a human head at 800 meters and beyond, yet it cannot kill a pudgy, asthmatic alien munchkin at point-blank range? Really Bungie . . .? This "Two Mags: One Kill" nonsense, even in Halo: Reach, on the big purple lizards provides no end of frustration. To say nothing of multi-player. That, or the UNSC Corps of Logistics needs to procure cartridges employing ACTUAL bullets. Not like Bungie cares . . . they got the money already. Good thing I never paid for my copy of Reach . . . [Edited on 11.03.2011 10:10 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Hellduck This gave me a good laugh.[/quote] Funny and true
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I really don't think that the humans had their weapons lowered at all. The pistol was weaker in damage but now you can fire it with much accuracy along with it being more rapid. Also if you noticed, the tanks were able to blow right through the covenant drop ship shields, and allowed you to destroy them. The AR kicks more of a punch than it used to; having to waste a whole clip on an elite before it's shield would go down. And the BR is pretty much the same. They also came out with A LOT more human weapons, but this is only coming from the Halo video games.
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Your completely correct guy.
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This tread made me LOL. I can't believe I haven't seen this earlier. I need to get on Bnet more often.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] NinStarRune Many a lol was given.[/quote]
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Many a lol was given.
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*Thread saved
