• Batteries for your controller will never die while logging in, waiting for a match to load, while you are safely tucked away in some location with excellent cover and concealment or just after completing your gaming session. They will however die at the most critical and inopportune moments. Batteries for your headset/microphone will seemingly last forever, if all you are using the headset for is the benefit of the surround sound. However, the moment you are desperately calling for assistance, trying to warn a teammate of danger or finalizing your plan of attack; that is when they will fail. • When noticeable lag is occurring, it will NEVER benefit you or your team. • You are in a desperate firefight, outnumbered and out gunned. During these times there is never a friendly asset in a position to provide assistance. However one of two events are guaranteed to occur in this situation: A nano-second after you die, you will see the opponent who killed you demolished by a hail of gunfire not seen since the storming of the beaches in Normandy. Or you have manage to fight, claw and are on the verge of extracting yourself from the no win situation, only to have teammates show up just in time to block your one and only avenue of escape. Naturally this results in your death. • High ranking players assigned to your team will inevitably be the kind of player who has played a lot, but suck so bad they make a black hole look like an amateur. Conversely, high ranking players on the opposing team are seemingly granted the powers of invincibility, invisibility and unerring marksmanship. • The closer you are to meeting some challenge based on the number of victories you have, the higher the chances are you will be assigned to a match in progress in which your teams defeat is assured. • You always reload at the earliest possible opportunity, rarely does this practice actually benefit you. That one time you really needed to remember to reload, you failed to do so. • You generally play as a sniper, picking off a target; moving, repeat so on and so forth. Your KD is good, but you are not scoring that many points. You decide to play some run and gun, carefully selecting the class you think will help you in your new strategy. You then spend the entire match chasing the sound of gunfire never to see an enemy player. That is of course does not including the one and only clear shot you had, just before you pull the trigger the enemy gets killed by a teammate. To make matters worse, the teammate did not do this on purpose; the kill was a result of a random grenade toss. • Lost connection tot he server, this dreaded event will never happen as you and your teammates are getting beat down so bad it makes "Custer's Last Stand" seem like a children's bedtime story. Conversely if you are the team delivering said butt-kicking or even worse you are about to set a new personal best score, hang on to your shorts boys and girls because you know you are going to loose contact with the server. • Anytime you look both ways before crossing open territory there is never an enemy bearing down on your position. The one time you race blindly into the open without looking, you know you will be crushed by that Hallowed Knight which "I swear officer he just came out of nowhere". Your parents taught and warned you to look both ways before crossing the street. • You find yourself in a no win situation in which your first thought is, "I am so dead." Not one to give up, you bob, weave, jump, dive and run. You are so effective at your evasive maneuvers you actually start to think, "Hey! I might just make it." That is the moment in which you have sealed your fate. • The speed with which your Fusion Rifle will charge will slow exponentially based on how badly you need it. • You have a big night of gaming planned. The percentage chances of something coming up and spoiling your game night is directly proportionate to the amount of anticipation you hold for that particular night of gaming. • Friends or family will never startle you by entering your gaming sanctuary while a game is loading, during intermission between matches or just after you have stopped playing. They will distract you at the worst possible moment. • A power outage will never occur while you are in the midst of receiving an epic butt-kicking. However, if you are on the verge of the highest scoring match you have EVER had, BOOM BOOM out go the lights. • Relatives will never show up for an unexpected weekend visit when you really were not sure you were going to play. However, if you have planned in advance a gaming get together with friends (Real or online), coworkers and other family members you better make sure to have the guest bed (Which of course is in your gaming sanctuary) ready because Aunt Mabel is coming to town.