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Surf a Flood of random discussion.
12/1/2014 4:39:53 AM
11

confession thread

I saw one and then couldn't find it again, so here's one. Spill the beans flood, tell us My story: [spoiler]Ever since I was little I've been different, but as I grew older, I learned just how screwed up I am. I had overbearing parents, especially my father, telling me what to do and how to do it. This caused me to feel like I have no power over anything and gave me an analytical personality. The older I got, the more analytical I became and the more oppressed I felt. That is why I don't understand people who use substances or have sex, it makes no sense to me as the cons outweigh the pros. So now I look down at people as if they were inferior based on their choices and lust for power to try and fill up what I lacked as a child. Also as a child I was told my parents loved me, but my father often hit me which made me ask why he would say he loved me if he did such things to me. I began to question why people said and did the things they do, to find a hidden motive, now I trust no one and am overly paranoid. The good person inside me still lives, but is shrouded by this paranoid power hungry husk. I often feel empathy for those who make poor decisions, but then get upset with them because they don't understand what I do, and then I get mad at myself for not being able to help them at all as I have terrible social skills and usually can't physically stop them from doing whatever they're doing and so I imagine a place where I could do something. For the past 5 years I have dreamt of a world where people understood me, where I had power for once, where it had control. That is why I fascinate myself with militaries, because military strength is power and power is what I lust for. That is why I take fancies to fascism, communism, and autocracy, because people would have to do what I say, when I say it. They have to follow me without question, because if they don't, I could kill them with the snap of my fingers. I think my dreams are just because I would tell the people what is best for them and there would be no sorrow because I'd stop them from making poor choices. I would be their sole moral compass and anyone who objects would be executed. So that's what I am, a schizophrenic sociopath. I know I am deeply disturbed and need help, I am sane enough to know this, but I am not sane enough to get that help.[/spoiler]

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  • Yeah, a lot of people who come from "loving families" are like that. My mom got pissed because I wouldn't wear my boots out on the walk to work. After hearing me say "I'm not asking for your advice" she looked like I slapped her. They are so difficult but it's all in the name of love. -_- So yeah I get where you're coming from but don't sweat it. Its only a problem if you lay down like a bitch and let it control you.

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