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10/15/2013 6:55:24 AM
6

A dark day for the flud.

On the fourteenth of October, at 11:45 PM Pacific time, our beloved president, Sowjet Preussen, was gravely injured by an assassin. And to think, on the very day of his inauguration. Luckily, he survived, and should make a full recovery. He is expected to resume his duties in no more than five days. I know that this is a trying time for all, but we must not lose hope.

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