I will only be eating pop tarts and drinking destiny themed energy drinks until the game comes out collecting all the in game emotes, sparrows, gun skins I can then sell extras on eBay.
English
#Destiny
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It just goes to show that the people that signed the deal don't give two shits about health.
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I honestly think you'd be dead before release if you actually tried that.
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16 RepliesWake up. Pop tarts for breakfast. Wash down with Rockstar. Get in car. Drink two more Rockstars on the way to work. Get to work. Let your stomach settle before getting out to walk in. You survive. Sit down and start office things. Making progress. Open your third pack of pop tarts and second Rockstar since starting work. Sense the presence of someone leaning into your office. [i]It's freakin' Gary[/i]. "[i]Hey man, do anything exciting last night?[/i]" No, Gary. "[i]Noticed your destiny 2 gamer fuel there. Not my thing, but glad to see that logo on something practical. Maybe give the kids some substance instead of another dewrito conquest, am I right?[/i]" I will eat your children, Gary. Lunch time. Can't move. Intake too consistent. Decide to down a box of pop tarts and finish off the remaining two Rockstars on your desk, then take a break for a few hours. Wake up. Boss is staring at you. "Where is my report?" Look at watch. You've been asleep for four hours. I'll have it to you by five. Can't focus. Nodding off. Need to stay awake, need Rockstar. Pull remaining twelve from refrigerator under your desk. Shutter at the sight of pop tarts. You'll find a way. Mind is foggy, world around you slow. Movement is difficult. Finish report. Stomach rumbles, but you can't stand to chew the dry corners of pop tarts. "[i]Mix them.[/i]" Gary, I don't need your crap right now. "Mix them. Unleash your full potential. Only then can you defeat me." What have you done? At first you are locked in place, gripping the edge of your desk. Then, it's pop tarts. Everything is pop tarts. You breath in, the sweet Rockstar filling your lungs. It's time. You leap forward, flipping your pop tart and breaking through the pop tart of your office. You turn to see Gary's pop tart slam shut. You pick up speed, crashing through and locking eyes with Gary. "[i]Why throw away your life so recklessly, Prime?[/i]" That's a question you should ask yourself. You grab Gary, tossing him through the fifteenth story pop tart. He grabs your arm to pull you with him. Of course you would, Gary. The two of you trade punches as you fall towards the pop tart below. You break through the crust, and are surrounded by the warmth of its strawberry filling. You awake in an outhouse. A ghost is staring at you. "[i]You're going to see a lot of things you won't understand.[/i]" It's okay, I saved my codes for engrams and bonus xp.
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This post brought to you by Liberty Medical. Helping you to manage your diabeetus and get the supplies and support you need so you can live a better life. https://youtu.be/kFIsoq63lwo
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1 ReplyNatural selection, folks.
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You won't make it to September 6th on that diet. RIP.
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They usually hand that stuff out for free later on....
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2 RepliesWatch your blood pressure! The destiny diet is full of salt :(
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Yo, dont feed these bastards with money
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Sounds like an organ doner waiting to happen.
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Diabetes
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You'll die
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Don't forget to only use Destiny candles to light your house
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That's.... tottaly healthy I hope you make it to see the release of d2😅
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Edited by Freak: 8/11/2017 4:12:23 PMYeah because the road to diabetes is awesome! Not so much when you actually arrive!!
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1 ReplyThe blackmarket for insuline is gonna explode :D
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3 RepliesI got you my ni🅱🅱a
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You'll die before launch. Like really, no water bottles? Not even the go to Mountain Dew and Doritoa, but Rockstar and Pop Tarts?
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Edited by Redvingson: 8/11/2017 5:27:25 AMOk , but you are allowed a Xûr every Friday.
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I only eat lays while I play. [url]https://goo.gl/images/tN23lx[/url]
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What about raisins and celery [spoiler]dont forget the salt[/spoiler]
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1 Replymake sure to eat your vegetables with that diet as well! <3 [i]can there please be broccoli pop tarts[/i] [i]just kidding no that’s dumb[/i]
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OP is gonna die.
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Sounds like an American kid to me 🤔
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Don't forget your scented candles.