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12/1/2016 11:25:24 PM
136
Opinions on spanking as punishment
Please, be kind to people who might voice opposite opinions. Don't call people who disagree with you things like "monsters" or "wussies".
You could just scroll down to post your thoughts right away, but I kind of encourage you to read what I have to say here. This is an issue I've actually changed my opinion on.
Up until recently, if you had asked me my opinion, I'd have said that it is utterly unacceptable. I'd have used the word abuse to describe it. I still would... depending on the situation. Let me explain.
When I was a child, it was used on me. But it was in tandem with other harmful parenting techniques. Using fear to control was the main thing. When I was spanked, it was in anger, and I was not explained why what I did what was wrong. I always asked for why what I did was wrong, but never got a real answer. I wanted to understand.
Recently, I've started to think that in a different situation, it can be acceptable. When it is explained what was done wrong, and the spanking is [i]not[/i] done in anger, and the "spankee" is assured that's they're still loved, I think it can be a healthy way of discipline. The assurance and explanation makes it so the spankee doesn't become afraid to do anything in fear of angering their superior, and instead is simply discouraged from the negative behaviour they did before.
English
#Offtopic
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Bearbeitet von wigglycactus: 12/27/2016 6:50:39 AMKinky But jokes aside, I was beat when I was younger. It didn't really help me at all, and I'm still quite a troublemaker today. I'm not against spanking, though since if I'm able to suck it up, everyone should be able to.
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1 Antworten
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I'm a couple generations older than most of the people here and I was spanked as a child to the point it was bordering on abuse even by 70's and 80's standards. I had my ass beaten over the smallest things sometimes. Hell, you could even be paddled in school back in those days. But I can tell you one thing.. it was pretty damn effective. Now that I'm a father, I choose not to spank my kid in most situations. I find that other punishments are just as effective in the end, and I don't have to be physically violent toward my child. Win, win. I will say that it takes a bit more patience and work to not spank though. Spanking gets the message across really quickly, while other options make you work harder to get the kid to understand the seriousness of what they did. Worth the effort IMO though. Although I did use spanking on one occasion where my 5 year old(at the time) got mad at my wife and punched her in the face out of nowhere. Trust me.. he understood the seriousness of what he did really quickly. And he's never done it again. But using it for everything ruins the impact that it's supposed to have.
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I find spanking to be most effective in the office setting..,
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not my children but only my significant other
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Sometimes. A lot of kid don't do bad stuff because they fear of the outcome, not the actual action
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2 AntwortenIt depends on the person Some people become violent and resentful because of the spanking Some turn out to be better people than they otherwise would have
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2 AntwortenHonestly, while I believe that physical punishment should be required at times, I couldn't spank my child because of how kinky the internet has made spanking, it would always be in the back of my head that spanking is kinky if I was ever about to spank my child. I might do a small light smack on the back of the head, nothing painful, just a reminder to be orderly or to calm down if my child was being obnoxious.
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I was spanked as a child. I knew I was still loved and that it wasn't because they hated me. Now I believe that spanking is one of very very few ways to keep some children in line.
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1 AntwortenLet's all ask ourselves a simple question. Is it okay to beat a person if they consistently behave irrationally?
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I've been naughty, spank me
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If a kid knowingly does something wrong then I believe it is ok. If a 2 year old is just being a grumpy 2 year old then it would have to depend on the situation.
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My parents spanked me when I was little, and I have never wished that they hadn't.
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Different things work for different people. One kid might react more strongly to verbal discipline, while another might not care about verbal discipline but reacts more to spanking. There is no one end-all be-all when it comes to reprimanding kids, since kids and parents are different. Example: My brother didn't like his things to be taken away, so that's how he was reprimanded. I didn't care if my things were taken away, so I was hit instead. Yet we both turned out fine. Different actions can produce the same results.
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I've known people who were never spanked. I've met parents who never spanked either. They used other methods and they worked. Keep in mind these parents were well involved in the upbringing of their children. I met a couple who had a tendency to ignore their daughter. They didn't do a lot of activities with her involved. They'd have their friends over, tell her to go to her room and entertain herself. She wanted attention and would often do unacceptable things to get attention. Even spanking didn't work.
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1 AntwortenOnly as a necessary punishment, not further or less. Spanking should be given when a child slaps his/her parents. Spanking should not be given to a simple curse word. Institutionalization should be given to children who sit on their chair literally all day playing video games not even getting up to go to the bathroom.
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Doesn't teach a proper way to resolve conflict. Just use physical force, humiliation, and domination to make sure you get your way. Comforting the child saying you love them while you do it may actually be worse in some cases as you confuse the child as to what is happening. You are verbally praising them for their acting out but physically harming them. I also read a study awhile back that more domestic abusers grew up under this parenting style (not sure how legit it was but still) That said I know people who have grown up in both kinds of households and have turned out fine
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1 AntwortenIf done sparingly, properly, and the child is reassured after, it can be an effective and safe teacher.
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1 AntwortenIll be honest and please no one get offended. When I was a child my mom would get a cable and smack me with it when I didn't understand my homework or did something bad. I grow up in the ghetto so trouble was everywhere but the fear and respect I had for my mother was so much bigger than the temptation of doing something bad. Now im 25 and graduated in my major with 0 trouble with the law and my relationship with my mother is probably the best a son and mom can have. I don't go a day without calling her and i honestly buy her gifts more then I do to my gf. I know that when she was hitting me a cable it hurt her more then it hurt me but I know she understood that this was going to be the only way I would understand and respect her and think twice about doing something bad. Im Hispanic and any Hispanic young adult will tell you how their mother beat them as well and turned out to be a good person. I work with many families who come in and talk about issues and everytime I see a child being a dick to their parents I can only imagine my mother would of smacked me with a bike chain like her mom did to her. Sadly most of this cases with children being trouble makers and brats are from white families who don't believe in hitting your child because the "law" and "child services" bullshit. I could easily suggest the mom to smack the shit out of the kid but I would end up fired and in trouble lol I believe smacking your kid is fine if you're not a hardcore believer of having to educate your child physically. I was heading the wrong direction as a kid and now I understand why my mom did. I don't have kids and if I ever have a girl ill never lay a hand on her but I sure as hell will tell my wife to beat her if she ends up making bad decisions. If I were to have a boy id do the thing my father would do to me when I out past 12 and came home late or talked backed. He would push me and drop me to the ground and scream at me. My father never really beat me but once when I came home from a party and I had just gotten in a fight when he saw me he told me "I never hit you because I care about you but if you're going to go out and get in fights i might as well beat the shit out of you" of course he said it in Spanish but he then beat me till I couldn't get up anymore and told me that if I ever get into another street fight he will beat me when I get home too for being stupid. Many parents believe hitting your kid will end up with them hating you but like I said I love my parents and would die for them and know that all that beating and yelling they did to me turned me in the young successful adult I am now.
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If done properly it should only be needed to done once, then the fear of it happening again would be the deterrent!
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1 AntwortenWe talking about wives or children?
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Every child is different, and every relationship they have with people is different. There is no clear cut way, no one trick wonder to make them behave. Some children may need to be spanked, and some may need to be grounded or scolded. The problem is finding out whos who.
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I see it largely as unnecessary, but let's be perfectly honest here, some kids just don't respond to normal discipline. We've all been to school, we've all had experiences with kids who play up no matter what kind of punishment the teacher lays on them. I can see corporal punishment being used in such situations, but the point isn't to punish the child or make them associate negative behaviour with negative consequences, but to make the child realise that the adult is being serious about what they're saying. So long as it's used very sparingly (because let's face it constant spanking has no positive effects at all since the kid gets used to it), and the kid understands what they did wrong and the reason they were spanked I don't see a problem.
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1 AntwortenHave them kneeling in the corner for a few hours. Not sitting, kneeling.
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I wouldn't do it but I don't think it's so horrible.
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This isn't meant to be an attack but... Are you considering a child, and if so, how? If through adoption then I commend you.
