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Bearbeitet von irishfreak:
12/17/2015 10:32:04 PM
699
Girlfriend wants to "take a break"
So I've dated this girl for 4 years. We survived a long distance relationship in college seeing eachother once every two months during the semesters. We are both 23 years old.
So I try to talk about the future. For example:marriage, children, and our careers. She freaks out and says she doesn't know anything.
So this goes on. I bring it up every couple of weeks or she won't think about it. Finally last night we sit down and talk about it. She still doesn't really know what she wants though.
After 4 years I'm thinking she owes me this much at least so we can either move on from here. So she says she wants a break for a week or two. I reluctantly accept.
So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Don't know what to do and I'm pretty sad.
Advice is appreciated
Edit: so majority say she's banging another dude. If that is the case I have no problem breaking it off and making her feel like shit about it. But I won't know for a couple of weeks until I pop that question. Secondly regarding this, there does require trust while this is happening which I have so I want to believe in her. And as far as I know we were virgins when we stated dating and I was given no reason to believe she has cheated on me thus far.
Next most common is that she's prepping the break up. Here I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. And I'm definitely not gonna cheat on her ever unless we are officially over.
It's all making me anxious but I have to wait a couple weeks to find out. Appreciate all the responses, whether genuine or jokey
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Ok dude the only thing I'm gonna say us obviously [i][b]nobody [/b][/i] on the forums knows your girlfriend or your relationship. So don't take it to heart when they say she is banging another dude. I'd hate for you to be in love with this woman and have this community make you feel sick to your stomach by talking you into a reality that isn't necessarily true. That's all I wanted to say.
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Bearbeitet von drew012278: 12/17/2015 10:16:54 PMLife is complicated women are complicated. That is the simplest way to put it. While taking the break don't think about her instead think about you weigh what is important to you at 24 years of age. I am 40 been married 16 years my wife and I took a break mid way through I took the time for me to sort me out. I suggest you do the same. Good luck man.
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She's definitely getting some, and keeping you around for insurance. Time to move on.
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She's met someone else bro.
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She may just not be ready for marriage and kids. Take it from a man with a three year old and a bitter ex. It's better to cut your ties sooner than later. I don't regret my daughter for anything, but I regret forcing a relationship with my ex in the spirit of "making it work." You two clearly want two very different things. You can either concede or part ways and find someone that's going to, eventually, be like minded. I'd vote for the latter. Nagging her won't change her mind. The sooner you decide the better. Taking a break won't solve anything. You'll be back together in the same dilemma.
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You're asking her every couple weeks? Nagging isn't good. Tell her what you want and how you feel, of course, but if she's evasive and not answering her answer is "no" and you don't need to keep asking. Move on
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"Break" means "Probably riding the sausage express with no seatbelt on". But, I could be wrong.
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She's a girl. She either has interest in banging another dude or is. Unless you're banging another girl or showing interest. Girls typically don't just leave 4 year relationships without making an effort to fix it. It's not in their nature.
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In my past experience you are looking at 2 options based solely on the woman's personality. If your lady is one of those free spirit, "I want to spend a year in Tibet studying Buddhism then another year on a mango farm in Hawaii" kind of women then you probably just have to tag along for awhile until she realizes we're not in make believe land and she gets her shit together. If she's a normal down to earth woman then I'm afraid she's probably seeing somebody or wants to see somebody else and she's freaking out because she knows she probably has to make a serious life choice and accept some responsibility. Been through both situations and they both kinda blow but either way you sound like you deserve an answer either way. Most people get married a lot later now and I didn't till I was 29 but after 4 years together it's not unreasonable to expect some kind of shared future or commitment longer than the date at the all you can eat night at The local buffet next week ya know? Hope it works out for you both but if not at least you're in the best part or your life for meeting some new lady at a hot yoga class or whatever bullshit people do these days. And hey, there's stuff like Tinder too, I would've traded my right hand for an app like that back in my early 20's, you don't even need to face the rejection in person over too many drinks at 2 am! Best of luck.
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I would say that it's not worth it if she wants to take a break. I mean, you barely see each other and she wanted to take a break? TF? For what reason? I could only think that either: A) she is seeing someone else B) she's taking you for granted You should find someone that appreciates you and knows what she wants. Good luck man!
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Yeah, she cheating.
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F that move on. If she's not interested go get with somebody else life's too short.
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Not trying to be a dick but you just ruined season 1 for "How I Met Your Mother" 😂😂😂
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I wouldn't be asking for relationship advice on a video game forum ......
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Wrong place to share this. But wanting a break? That's a big red flag. Hate to tell you this but if you're still seeing each other once every 2 months, she might be seeing someone else on the side.
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She is obviously waxing different guys poles by the looks of it. All you need to do my friend is to catch her in the act!! If you were going out for 4 years you would think that she is comfortable enough to exchange what she feels about the situation. If she isn't the I'm sorry bud but she might be jerkin the gherkin of other men.
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I am also in a 4 year relationship that was once broken off; we've already accepted to marry. My advice is to wait, but prepare for the worst; a lot of times, when I was thinking the way the majority do, she would prove me completely wrong and only make me fall in love with her more. The majority either have had bad experiences or are simply assholes. Waiting can be worth it, but prepare for the worst. Not too much, though; stress destroys the brain.
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I havent read any of the replies but here are my thoughts, as an older (32) guardian. Consider it finished. Honestly, move on. You are that young, there is no sense in trying to force something to work. If one of you wants a break, how can that be right? No sense trying to force things to work. Most relationships that start do not last, this is just a fact. A learning experience, time to call it. All the best.
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Well, you've been constantly bringing up the question. Just let her take her time and decide. The question asking probably stressed her out too much and she took a break because she'll see you and think, "He's gonna ask me again. I don't know the answer." Again, give her the time she needs and do not pop up the question again. At least not for a very longtime. She could also be breaking up with you too. Maybe she doesn't want kids and you do and, well, you know. It won't work out if that's what could be separating your similarities.
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Bearbeitet von LuckySevens7: 12/17/2015 9:58:18 PMShes tired of your[b] Bad[/b] juju, she wants to try a [b]BlackHammer[/b]
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I have been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for 4 years as well, and a couple months ago she also said she wanted a break. I accepted, and gave her some space. Maybe she is feeling a bit overwhelmed? It may be too much for her to think about at the moment. Rather than being consistent about talking to her about it, try approaching it differently. If she doesn't know where your relationship is going after 4 years, that could be a sign that you guys are hitting a dead end. Also, take this break as an opportunity to think about your relationship with her. Do you feel like your life would be different without her? Do you feel that you would ever meet someone as good, or even better than her? Are your conversations with her dull? Do you feel you guys are the same that you were when you first met? Ask yourselves these things, it may help. If you know she is the one you want, then don't let her go even if she fights. Anything could be making her feel this way, and people shouldn't just jump to conclusions and say she is cheating. For all we know, she could just be frightened by the thought of having her own family and being married. As I said before, she could just feel overwhelmed.
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Why do you want advice from d-bags on here
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Sounds like you're rushing her m8
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3 AntwortenMaybe she just wants a two week break for variety, and then probably back to you.
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1 AntwortenJust get ahead of it and tell her if she needs to think this long about it she obviously doesn't care about you like you care about her. And that strain will only get worse over time. Been there. Both people need to be equally head over heels and on the same page. I get needing a little time to think. But don't get time apart to think. So I vote you just end it officially. It may get her thinking more seriously. Or it may help go ahead and severe the ties rather than torture yourself. Still young. Plenty of time to make up later if y'all decide. Worry about today. Also, probably shouldn't have pushed her so much. But I get it too. Relationships suck. Damned if you do, damned if you don't! Woman; can't kill em, can't have hetero-sexual relations without em :)
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Yeah man, youre 23, you got together fresh out of highschool. Go explore a bit!! Have some fun before youre stuck at home not having anymore fun with kids and LOTS of responsibility. At least wait to think about that stuff till you have your own career down and know what youre going to do with your life. Think about it.
