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Bearbeitet von TheMilkman:
11/7/2015 1:05:30 AM
620
Post school logic v3.0
It's that time of year again, most kidos are back to school by now and it's only [i]logical for me to post this. [/i]
Post any kind if school logic such as memes, jokes or logical moments.
Here's mine:
Kids fight during lunch and smart lunch ( a time where you can catch up on work)...let's ban smart lunch the only time students use that they need.
Bus strike goes on; the school board decides to make teachers drive busses instead of hiring new ones and firing the ones that work most of the time. [spoiler]there are plenty and I mean plenty of school bus drivers in the city area. [/spoiler]
Our school is having a bring your own tech to school; you must sign a contract allowing them to spy on you; so you can get on the internet... I rather not have NSA 2 on my back.
Alright class today you will have 48 problems to do and each problem consists of 7 boring steps that require a calculator. Oh and you have a quiz tomorrow; no calculator.
English teacher: Today we will be in groups of people you do not know not want to know so you can be more social. (You get into the group and the work consists on you talking; no one talks for the entire time.)
You have to write a 15 sentence essay of what a teacher job is like even though you can explain it in 5 or less sentences.
Teacher: Today instead of learning about grammar, I decided we should learn more about poetry.
Please solve this equation the way I showed you, even though there are other ways. Also you have to explain each step.
Pulls out phone to use as a calculator, gets suspended for using the phone to play games.
Rides bus in the morning; tries to ride bus in afternoon, but bus driver says your not on the list and have to go to the front office to write a slip. Then give it to the bus driver the next day, so you can ride the bus in the afternoon for 10 days only.
(" Teacher: you must copy the hw from the board and do it tonight.
Student [i]takes out phone and takes pic of hw[/i].
Teacher: You are not allowed to take a picture of the hw, but I'll allow it this time. ")
Edit: 360 posts...Xbox 360 ftw!
Edit 2: this is starting to get more depressing than funny.
Edit 3: flame war in section Walrus.
Edit 4: 711 I smell shopping.
Edit5: I'm back, how long is this edit list going to go?
[spoiler]keep it kid friendly[/spoiler]
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the BELL doesn't dismiss you I dismiss you [spoiler]then why the feck do you put the bells there in the first place then -blam!-[/spoiler]
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18 Antworten>Be me >Looks at clock >7:30 AM >Takes notes >Looks again >7:28 AM
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1 AntwortenIt's funny that teachers are always saying pay attention when they are the ones putting up all of the distracting crap on the walls in their classrooms.
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1 AntwortenStudent: Here's my homework. Teacher: Great. *throws homework in trash and lights it on fire* So where's your homework?
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3 AntwortenI gets stabbed by bully. M8 chokes bully until I get the knife. Teacher walk up Me and bully=suspended M8=jailed Story told by= bully only True story [spoiler]seems legit[/spoiler]
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4 AntwortenTeacher: STOP COPYING OTHERS ANSWERS!!! *no one around* ~ Teacher says no eating. Starts eating. ~ Has crush. Then another. Can't decide. Loses both. #foreveralone ~ Gets in trouble for ACTUALLY doin my work. Cuz apparently, I shouldn't even be doing it yet. ~ Assigns hw. AS BELL RINGS ~ You're sitting there #foreveralone as teacher is on eHarmony looking for a date (true story) ~ Tries to be cool. Nope. ~ You say joke. No one laughs. Friend says joke. It's like life just gave everyone an orgasm. ~ Tallest kid in grade. BOTTOM LOCKER.
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17 AntwortenYou're walking in Walmart. There's no one around, And your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot her Megan the Fox She's dry humping you Not even inch back She gets down on all fours She wiggles her ass for you! Megan the Fox You're looking for the exit But you're all turned around. Shes almost upon you now And you can see there's blood between her legs My god, there's blood everywhere! Running for your dignity (From Megan the Fox.) She's brandishing a dildo (It's Megan the Fox.) Lurking in the aisles Hollywood superstar Megan the Fox Living in the walmart (Megan the Fox.) Killing for sort, (Megan the Fox.) Ràping all the bodies Actual whore, Megan the Fox Now it's dark and you seem to have lost her, But you're hopelessly lost yourself. Stranded with a whore, You creep silently through the aisles A-ha! In the distance, It's the manager! Hope! You move stealthily toward it, But your penis! AH! It's caught in a trap! Gnawing off your penis, (Quiet, quiet.) Awkwardly moving toward the manager (Quiet, quiet.) Now you're right in front of him Standing right next to him, Megan the fox Sucking his penis (Megan the Fox.) But she doesn't hear you draw near, (Megan the Fox.) You're sneaking up behind her, Strangling superstar Megan the Fox Fighting for your dignity with Megan the Fox, Wrestling a dildo from Megan the Fox Stab it in her titty! Safe at last from Megan the Fox! You limp into the dark walmart Blood oozing from your stump genital But you have won. You have beaten Megan the Fox
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5 Antworten9th grade science class Write a ten-step how-to for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
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Bearbeitet von Cyndergate: 10/6/2015 1:59:45 AMThis. It's about what is wrong with school, well more specifically what they don't teach.
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4 AntwortenTom has 1 Apple Jerry has 2 apples What is the weight of tom and Jerry
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36 Antworten*crowded hallway* Girl: "Oh, I know! Let's talk in the middle of the hallway, blocking valuable space for others to pass by!" [i]~Every girl in my school ever[/i]
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11 AntwortenSchool board: Ok lets make the school ours for each level of school (primary, secondary, etc.). What should we do. Intern. We should make k-5 go the latest because all the small children are jumping off the walls and going crazy because they overslept. Superintendent:My god thats genius. What about 6-8. Different intern: We should make them go 2nd latest, because it is only fair to the little kids who don't give 2 shits. Superintendent:You get a promotion. And finally, what about 9-12. We should send them the earliest, because even though the facts show that high school students tend to stay up latest and get up latest, we should send them in early, then give a shit ton of homework, therefore causing them to get 4-5 hours of sleep per day Superintendent: This is the smartest thing i have ever heard. [spoiler]this is part one of many things my school does wrong[/spoiler]
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2 Antworten>Is getting bullied verbally and physically >School officials find out >Victim says 1 thing bad to bully >Bully gets of free,victim suspended >wtf.jpg
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25 AntwortenIf a teacher can't teach all 4 subjects THEN HOW ARE THE STUDENTS SUPPOSED TO LEARN ALL OF THEM
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Bearbeitet von Astro4545: 10/12/2015 12:42:37 AMNvm, I misread it.
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4 AntwortenWhenever they show a movie it's a crappy one.
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10 Antworten>wants kids to become smarter >serves them food that can lower their IQ
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2 AntwortenKick a bully and rupture both testes so they can't reproduce dumb shits.
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We are going to increase the time for classes. So you can get all your homework done at school. But the teachers will still just talk all class instead. And give you more homework.
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1 AntwortenMath is Mental Abuse Towards Humans
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2 AntwortenMy football coach: "Football is like Algebra, pass routes are angles. Team: "Coach! That's geometry!" Coach: "wat? Yeah I said algebra!"
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4 AntwortenRolling your eyes is considered bullying.
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7 AntwortenBearbeitet von boomerbub: 10/3/2015 6:30:02 PMIf school isn't a place for sleep, home isn't a place for work
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1 Antworten>Gets in a fight >Self defense >Wins >Gets suspended >Other kid gets off clean
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1 AntwortenMe: Can I go get my book out of my locker? Teacher: Yes but you will be counted tardy. Me: But I'm already in the class. Teacher: Don't disrespect me. Me:wtf.jpg
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2 AntwortenMy old school: -If you don't write cursive go f*ck yourself -K-8 graders had to LINE UP AND GO EVERYWHERE AS A CLASS -Kids are psycho (one gave me a death threat) -teachers warn this will be a difficult test -Ace said test without paying attention or studying -Two male teachers (woman teachers were sexist, yelled at boys for turning around to pick up dropped pencil, ignore when girls pass notes across class -THEY TRY TO POISON US WITH THE LUNCH (one kid smashed his ICE COLD BURRITO WITH RAW STEAK on metal table, massive dent in the table) New School -6-high school -Independence(no lines, varying classes, etc.) -Teachers were fun, laid back, curse at times(religion is a bloodbath) -I had to learn studying -enjoyable classmates -BETTER IN EVERYWAY
