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Bearbeitet von Swarlly:
8/15/2016 6:13:01 AM
61
Girlfriend used my Credit Card and I blew up on her. Am I in the wrong?
Please read before you answer.
My girlfriend used my credit card without my full permission with the full intention to pay me back. I blew up on her telling her its not her money to loan out even for a day. Backstory to know:
- Been together for 2 years
- I already said she could use it for $50 of makeup if she paid me back. She used it for $130 of make up.
- She knows money is a sensitive issue with us because I pay for all the groceries, rent and give her rides to work with no gas money. (She has a crap job and couldn't live on her own without me)
- The make up was exclusive and wouldn't be available again (long story)
- she intends to pay me back in a day
- After I blew up I told her fine it's whatever and let it go but now she's mad because I yelled at her.
Edit: Asked to take her card to ATM and get my money. I have my money I'm all cool now but she's still mad I yelled. So she doesn't want to let it go and have a good night. Jokes on her now I get to play Destiny tonight.
Edit 2: Love the responses. The constructive feedback is good to hear. She basically is over the situation but still wants me to do something to "redeem" myself for yelling. I'm just here. Don't feel bad nor am I mad at her. Apathetic towards the situation. She'll get over completely and life will go to normal in a day or two.
Edit 3: A lot of feedback thank you community. We are all good now. It took her a night but its just another step. What I've learned is to stand my ground on key issues but be more calm.
English
#Offtopic
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Blowing up as a 'response' is a choice. You might want to work on how you handle things. As for her, wasting, let me say that again, WASTING money on 'exclusive' [i]make up[/i] without having a solid income to pay for such luxuries is absolutely ridiculous. So, you; -Work on your approach and your use of words when in such situations. her; -Stop superfluous spending on nonsensical, idiotic items if she is always cash strapped.
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1 AntwortenBearbeitet von Dredwerkz: 8/14/2016 2:20:26 PMSever all financial ties, never tie yourself together financially, ever. Even in marriage have a rainy day fund, even if it's a safety deposit box of cash. Change pin numbers on cards, close joint accounts, etc etc.
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She was in the wrong and I assume she could have simply called/texted if it was ok. That said, she knew she could pay you back so it's maybe not as big of a deal as you made it. My 2c.
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4 AntwortenAt first it was strange, since in my country's currency, $130 is not big deal. Then, I realized you use dollars.
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Now she needs to blow you, fair is fair
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If you wanna redeem yourself you should draw on her with the makeup you bought when she's sleeping
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1 AntwortenWere you able to find all your pieces after you blew up? Hmm idk but maybe you guys should talk it out but idk
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1 AntwortenTwo year relationship and you're paying for everything troubles me. I get her job is crap, but doesn't she at least chip in for stuff around the house? I assume you're living together. Don't tell me you're paying for her rent and you don't even live together.
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1 AntwortenThis relationship isn't going to last..
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3 AntwortenBearbeitet von RufousLoki82: 8/13/2016 1:41:37 PMIt's more of your fault but also partially hers. You did give her permission for $50 but then she didn't ask if she could use more even though she was gonna pay you back. You blew a gasket and yelled at her and damaged a 2 year long relationship even in the end you got your money. It didn't seem like you apologized in your post either so I completely understand why she's mad at you to make it even worse you didn't say if you did anything else with her that's night and you played [b][u][i]DESTINY[/i][/u][/b] [spoiler]Amateurly plays Cello[/spoiler] Edit: And apparently those 90% of people on these forums have never been in a relationship Or don't understand that as a [b][u][i]Man[/i][/u][/b] you take care of the family and honestly why the hell are you asking this on a forums site mostly populated by idiots and somehow Octagons?
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Ya girls a hoe. She clearly wearing dat make up 4 her boss bruh [spoiler]ur bitch is an option[/spoiler]
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She shouldn't really be mad at you especially since you're the one basically taking care of her. Sounds sus to me.
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You are completely in the right
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3 AntwortenBearbeitet von Elbow Macaroni: 8/14/2016 11:25:06 AMYou don't have to deal with these issues if you dated men like the rest of us
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3 Antworten"Exploding" at her? That was an overreaction and uncalled for. However, I do believe she is partly in the wrong. If you are telling us the whole story, then you have given her permission to occasionally spend a set amount of money on specific products and she spends over twice as much without your permission or consulting you. This was, in my opinion, irresponsible of her and perhaps a slight breach of trust. On the other hand, you definitely should not have shouted at her, no matter what she did. Such behavior will never help your relationship and can even be detrimental. In short, you both screwed up. I suggest you apologize for your behavior, but then calmly explain why you are upset with her and discuss the situation. Stay calm and be forgiving. This is just my opinion, anyway. Take it or leave it.
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2 AntwortenDamn.. I hope there's a whole lot more to this than you're telling us because what you're saying is.. She can't afford to contribute to bills. Doesn't own a car. Uses your money to buy expensive makeup instead of helping out financially. Overspends your money when you (for some reason) allow her to spend it. And then flips the whole thing to you being the asshole when you get upset about it. I hate to say it.. but it sounds like you're being played real hard, dude. The sex better be -blam!-ing magical.
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She should have let you know it was exclusive and that she really wanted it. Maybe then you would allow it since she let you know and asked nicely. Maybe not if money is an issue.
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1 Antwortenwhy would u want a gf who needs so much make up to look k
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3 Antworten1. If she have a shitty job, $130 on makeup is way to much. 2. She spend that amount on makeup instead of helping with things for the house, she needs to set better priorities. 3. From my experience, whatever will happen in a relationship, it will always be the male's fault. So just take her out for dinner and let it go, it's not worth it.
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1 AntwortenShe needs to get over herself and understand she made a mistake using your money.
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1 AntwortenI don't think you're in the wrong in any aspect. I get make up can be expensive, I buy good stuff and a lot of it for myself but never have I spent that much! Even when I get my waxing and lashes done on top, it doesn't come to that much! And as for shouting, what did she expect? She effectively stole from you. I know being in a relationship most wouldn't see it like that but she took more than you consented to and that's not right. She's lucky you happily sub her what you do.. I'm glad it's all sorted but don't think for one minute you need to grovel for forgiveness because even tho you shouted, it was warranted.
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2 AntwortenRemember. Us men live for the 1% of the time where we're right in the argument.
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5 AntwortenBearbeitet von FuzeMainIn2k17: 8/13/2016 4:48:00 PMyour problem is starting a relationship in the hopes that your partner will one day become financially stable. dont start shit hoping you can change someone. it wont happen. chances are this shit will end and you will not see a fraction of what she has been leeching off you
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Yeah, it's ok. Makeup is DUMB!!!
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5 AntwortenI don't get women sometimes. I've been with my girl for 12 years, married for five. I do something, she gets mad. She does something, I get mad then she gets mad because I got mad.
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If she can pay you back in a day why didn't she just pay for it herself? Was the deal one day only? Maybe work on her being independent herself? She could probably get a credit card with like a 500 dollar limit in those kinds of situations and just pay it off.
