"Trials of Osiris is cancelled for this weekend."
What will they do without their Tryhards of Osiris to test their lagswitch-fu against one another?
... probably pollute the Strikes and Patrols in hopes of getting Exotic Engram Infusion Fuel, and piss off all the usual PvE players who wish the tryhards would go back to Mercury and stay gone.
Edit: Wow. Sweaties are out in force in the forums tonight. They're so upset that they can't sweat all over each other to see who is the sweatiest of them all.
Edit 2: Mmm... sweaty tears make the best soup. Keep it coming, all you Tryhards of Osiris. If I get enough, I can make a pot of soup large enough to end hunger in Kenya.
Edit 3: All the salt from sweaties here is incredible. I've never seen anything like this! This is amazing! <- you read those last two bits in Lord Shaxx's voice.
Edit 4: Whether we wanted it or not, we've stepped into a war with the Sweaties.
Edit 5: Sweaties... on the surface of my mind! I will endure!
Edit 6: Zavala: "Guardians. We've picked up a High-Gain transmission. Origin Point: Somewhere within the Forums." -indistinct raging and salt- Ghost: "Those are sweaties, the bane of Destiny. If I'm understanding them correctly, it's just distress salt. There are so many angry kids out there, Guardian. It'd be a shame to stop baiting them."
Edit 7: Something salty stirs in the depths of the forums. We can feel it. A sweaty abomination bred for unthinkable rage. We must pierce the veil of their summoning trials and destroy this creature. Before the sweaties unleash them upon us all.
Edit 8: The Sweaties has no House. They kneels before no banner, owes allegiance to no Gamemode. They are Crybabies, and very good at it when they do-o-o-o. I have been tracking them since Clown Cartridge broke their chains, yes? Now Sweaties works for PVE, but not for long..."
Edit 9: Ghost: "I can't believe the forum is intact- oh sweaties, it's covered in sweaties."
Edit 10: Dinklebot: "We've awoken the sweaties!"
As the most-liked comment in the thread, I bring you...
Edit 11: The Sweaties will continue to claw at the walls of our community unless we strike them down. Beneath the ruins of the Forums, in the shadow of an old Mtn Dew bottling facility, we've located the House of Sweaties' basement and the Twitch streamer feeding them their strength. We must destroy this lifeless husk and send their souls screaming back to hell. - Ev1LDragonFly
Edit 12: As of 12:43AM, Eastern USA time, 5/21/2016... we reached 100 upvotes, despite the angry sweaties and their downvotes. To commemorate, I bring you a video featuring [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enMReCEcHiM]the best Destiny character of all time[/url]. <- click there
Edit 13: As of 3:21PM, Eastern USA time, 5/21/2016... we reached 200 upvotes, despite the angry sweaties and their downvotes. To commemorate the occasion, I bring you a Limerick.
[spoiler]There once was a game mode called Trials.
It was favored by most juveniles.
But how could we forget?
Kiddies just love to sweat.
And end up acting like big steaming piles.[/spoiler]
English
#Destiny
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1 ReplyThe weekly featured list is sweaty rn
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1 ReplyUpvoted just for good trolling.
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1 ReplyGod this is funny [spoiler]Grade A+ Sh*t Post[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyLMFAO!!! I liked Edit 8 the most !
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1 ReplyOmg edit 8 had me laughing so hard
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Fantastic.
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Still the best post ever.
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2 RepliesI think I love you <3
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Well played!😁
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Excellent.
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1 ReplyOmg this is beautiful
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13 RepliesDude, it's alright. I mean, sure, no Dedicated Servers, lots of lagswitchers, and then there's the SBMM that pairs you up with people across the world.. sure, I get that. It's annoying. But sometimes you have to understand that you will get outplayed. I've gotten 0-5'd in no longer than two minutes. It happens. Practice in 3v3s, try again next weekend, and you may see the Lighthouse.
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2 RepliesFavourite post this week :)
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1 ReplyI'm surprised they don't short-out their controllers! Lol
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12 RepliesTrials isn't even a sweaty playlist...
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Oh dear,lol
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Yu ar an hero
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Lmao.
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Hahaha, those Edits are the best!
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Sweaties gotta sweat!
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Wow what a waste of text this piece of shit thread is
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13 RepliesWait I'm kinda confused now. I thought sweaties were super duper try hard no life kids. Now it's anyone who doesn't suck? What's the kd look like on that? Did this just become a "safe space" ???
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1 ReplyEdited by ArticularAlloy: 5/21/2016 2:35:29 PMPlayed Skirmish yesterday for Marks and swear to God all three sweaties camped the same EXACT spot with sniper/fusion grenades combo. If you tried to rush they would just spam nades. No Trials so they brought it to Skirmish. You have to be an uber loser to play like that, especially against randoms.
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1 ReplyLate breaking news just in - hoards of sexually frustrated, basement-dwelling sweaties have invaded the solar system. According to sources at Vanguard headquarters a recent break down in the heavy ammunition code of conduct has led to popular sweaty activities such as the Iron Banner and Trials of Osiris being postponed until a solution can be found. Reports are streaming in from every habitable planet, including the recently Vanguard-claimed Dreadnought, of spawn-blocking, rocket spamming sweaties disrupting patrols and interfering with the daily Vanguard routine. The ongoing struggle against the Darkness has been particularly difficult over the last year with many sanctions being placed on legitimate Guardians in the form of weapon nerfs, this new development can only make things worse. When cornered by network reporters, Lords Shaxx and Saladin had no comment. Hopefully they can get some semblance of control over these sweaties soon, as most outside sources are laying the blame squarely on the Crucible's doorstep. In the meantime we can only hope that the fight to stem the dark tide soldiers on.
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5 RepliesEdited by Aleasysn: 5/21/2016 4:02:42 PMDo you main Xbox or PlayStation Reason I ask is cause my clan and I help people in trials, we don't charge, what we do is different than most. Yes we'll get you to the 9-0 but we'll also teach you, what's the point in going and not learning anything. Trust me I used to avoid PvP like cancer during the Thorn/TLW meta but now I've gone flawless 5 times and have the emblems and gear. I try and play all aspects of the game, do I sweat in PvP sometimes yeah if I'm carrying someone or trying to farm rep, but most of the time I just dick around and have fun with friends, not everything needs to be full out try hard, imo that actually makes your skill drop cause you never adapt. But great post loved it
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1 ReplyDon't worry even it trials was up you still wouldn't have made it past 6 wins ;)