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Edited by maxesmagic:
2/18/2016 6:01:34 AM
201
I can't sleep. Give me destiny jokes!
As the title says, I need some destiny jokes, but as of this fifth edit, I am happy to get any jokes. Any topic. Also, as of this 9th edit, I can't sleep again, and need more humor. Please post anything, even stuff unrelated to destiny. Destiny jokes are still more than welcome, but I think almost all of them have been used already.
Inb4 destiny is a joke. I've heard it before, and don't give a shit about cynicism right now. Just need some humor to laugh myself to sleep!
Anything goes, even deadpan humor. In fact, deadpan is better. Make anti-jokes about destiny, or anything really!
Edit: I'm also watching dagashi kashi. Lots of fun!
Edit 2: I appreciate everyone's effort! You guys improved my mood a bit, and I'm starting to get sleepy. A couple of you (you know who you are) got me good, and I will comment if it's good enough to make me and my stony face crack a smile.
Edit 3: I think I'm going to try to get some rest. It's 1:50 AM, and I have to be up by 8:00. Fun times ahead...
Edit 4: I'm back! I got a good nights sleep, and at this point want more jokes to pass the morning until my class at noon. I have an appointment with a doctor in 15 minutes. Give me something to power me through having my toenail cut off.
Edit 6: I am loving the jokes! You guys are the bright spot in this toxic community! Keep jokes coming! I might change it to community rather than destiny, as I kinda want a mix of destiny jokes and regular jokes. Give me your best!
Edit 7: obligatory "we're trending" edit.
Edit 8: forgot to mention it's my first time trending. I was a bit surprised to say the least.
English
#Destiny
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Yo mama so fat her arrival is a public event
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2 RepliesHey gurl are dos pants purple? [spoiler]Because that ass is legendary.[/spoiler] ~Lettuce
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2 RepliesEdited by The icon of sin: 2/16/2016 1:36:54 PMYour mom is so fat the gorgons spotted her at the beginning of the raid. Your mom is so ugly she didnt need solar granades to push Atheon off, he jumped. Edit: your mom is so fat when she had weight of darkness x10 the moon crashed into the earth Your mom is so ugly that crota didnt attack her becauase he thaught it was one of his own ogres
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3 RepliesDestiny... the end
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1 ReplyWhy is Valus Ta'aurc so good at dunking? [spoiler]Because he's a CaBaller![/spoiler] [spoiler]I'm so sorry.[/spoiler]
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5 RepliesEdited by Synergy-Seven: 2/17/2016 2:05:42 AMWhats the best way to fix most Bungie error codes?[spoiler] - Shout "Jumanji!"[/spoiler] Yo mama so fat, [spoiler]when i killed her in crucible, everyone got moldering shards and public event completion.[/spoiler] Two Bungie employees go base jumping and make a bet to see who makes it to the ground first on a cliff 2000 ft. high. Both accidentally forget to pack their chutes , but one employee weighs 40kgs heavier than the other, however jumps 13 seconds later than the first employee. Who wins? [spoiler]- Everyone.[/spoiler] [b]Non destiny...[/b] What would it take to reunite the Beatles?[spoiler] - Two more bullets.[/spoiler] How do you get an emo kid out of a tree?[spoiler] - Cut the rope.[/spoiler] What's the fastest thing in Africa and Mexico?[spoiler] - Light.[/spoiler] How does Stephen Hawking Refresh after a long day?[spoiler] - F5[/spoiler] Whats black and sits at the top of a staircase? [spoiler]- Stephen Hawking after a housefire.[/spoiler] Why doesn't God like Syrian Christians? [spoiler]- Because he doesn't exist.[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesEdited by Spyrolegend123: 2/16/2016 11:23:35 PMFound this one on the Internet. Why was the Archon Priest arrested? [spoiler]For Vandalism[/spoiler] What did the Hunter say to the Titan? [spoiler]You tank 'em, I'll spank 'em[/spoiler] Why do you have a No Land Beyond above your fire place? [spoiler]Because I like it on dis mantle[/spoiler] Why does the Cryptarch never sleep? [spoiler]Because he's Awoken[/spoiler] What do Minotaurs wrap their sandwiches in? [spoiler]Praetorian Foil[/spoiler] What do you get when you mix Touch of Malice with the Mida Multi-Tool? [spoiler]Midas Touch[/spoiler] Who is the Agent of the Nine known as in his free time? [spoiler]A Stargazexur[/spoiler]
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4 RepliesWhy does earth, moon and venus doesn't have tv but mars does? [spoiler]because they have CABAL[/spoiler]
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Bring the pain
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3 RepliesCan't sleep? You sound Petra-fied.
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4 RepliesI'd tell a gjallarhorn joke, but you'll never get it
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1 ReplyKnock knock
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7 Replies#1 Destiny joke: [spoiler][i]People who use TLW, Mida, and 1kys[/i][/spoiler]
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3 RepliesEdited by Kirby235711: 2/17/2016 3:04:59 AMWhat do you call it when you cross a tauntaun with a hive ogre? [spoiler]Phog-Hoth! MMMMMMMMM![/spoiler]
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Destiny is the joke looool
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4 Repliesnot really jokes but funny name replacements KimKardatheon in the Vault of Ass Crouton, Son of Salad Whoreyx, The naked King
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Why do Titans have crusty eyes? Because they can't blink!!!
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1 ReplyEdited by Optimus96: 2/17/2016 3:12:35 AMKabr thought he had time to run the Vault of Glass... Boy was he right.
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3 Replies*not mine* So I was running VoG with a group and we lost two people so we had to wipe. This kinderguardian we were carrying asked, "How do you wipe?" A veteran in our group responds, "Unless you want to get an infection, front to back."
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10 year game. ***drum sounds***
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8 RepliesThis is a story all about how, my life got twisted, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, But unfortunately I don't even have time to explain why I don't have time to explain.
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Who's the most sexually frustrated mentor? [spoiler]Zavala - permanent case of blue balls.[/spoiler]
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8 RepliesEdited by Pllastation5: 2/16/2016 12:29:12 AMYou used to call me on my[spoiler]kell phone[/spoiler]
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Why was the Archon Priest arrested? [spoiler][i]Vandal[/i]ism[/spoiler]
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I have as many girlfriends as I have Fate of all Fools. [spoiler]I don't have one. (😢)[/spoiler]
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Why does only mars have television [spoiler] Because they get the best CABAL service[/spoiler]
