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10/20/2018 8:08:56 PM
34
I need some dark jokes and humor
I’m bored and I want something that’ll make me laugh. But I also want it to be dark
English
#Offtopic
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I'd make a joke if I still knew how to laugh...
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2 RepliesEdited by Fixit: 10/20/2018 8:50:06 PMWhat has 4 legs and a arm? [spoiler]A pitbull in a playground[/spoiler] How many babies does it take to paint wall? [spoiler]Depends how hard you throw them[/spoiler]
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How much babies do you need to replace a lamp? [spoiler]At least more than twelve because my basement is still pitch dark. [/spoiler] What do rollercoasters and my dick have in common? [spoiler]Kids ride for free. [/spoiler] How much babies do you need to paint a wall red? [spoiler]Depends on how hard you throw them. [/spoiler] What's the difference between babies and a trampoline? [spoiler]I make sure that my shoes are off when I jump on the trampoline. [/spoiler] What's the difference between an onion and a kid? [spoiler]I cry when cutting onions.[/spoiler] I tried to paint my PC black, to make it run faster, but now it doesn't work anymore. [spoiler]Sorry pls no ban[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesEdited by OldboyVicious: 10/21/2018 3:46:24 AMA man and a child are going for a walk in the woods. As it got dark, the child held the man's hand, saying "I'm scared" The man replied: "[i]You're [/i] scared? I'm the one that has to make the walk back all by myself."
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33 RepliesEdited by HollowedWayfarer: 10/22/2018 2:23:54 PMI know at least 4 very, very, VERY dark jokes. If you wanna hear them, I’d have to pm.
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My mate joined the army last week . He told me his sergeant shouted at him to get down on all fours and go head first through a concrete tunnel, “ I told him I wasn’t to happy in tight spaces . He told me if I didn’t go through it he was going to shove his massive penis up my arse. “Were you scared Mickey?” “Yes but I calmed down after the first four inches”
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1 ReplyWhy are teenage pregnancy rates low in Hogwarts? They cast a spell called Fetus Deleteus
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6 RepliesAre you ready for this? Beware, this one is pretty rough, so you need to be sure. Ninja's, please do not ban me for this, he did ask for it and I am hiding it under the spoiler...... [spoiler]Offtopic[/spoiler]
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5 RepliesEdited by HiddenAlignment: 10/21/2018 4:55:27 AMWhat does a boy with no hands get for Christmas? [spoiler]Gloves![/spoiler] [spoiler]Just kidding, he still hasn’t opened his present yet...[/spoiler]
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5 RepliesPoor people who are poor due to corporate greed are going to be left medically vulnerable as a result of having their medicaid defunded because of a lack of funds caused by giving their corporate overlords gigantic tax breaks. 'MURICA 😂😂😂
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2 RepliesQ. A man rides into Las Vegas on Friday. He's there for three days, then he leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. He lost three days due to a massive tequila coma.
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What does the F in Ethiopia stand for? [spoiler]It stands for food. [/spoiler] [spoiler]I'm so sorry[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyAlright here's one A guy decides to go to a brothel. He goes in and checks out the ladies, but they're much too expensive for him. So he goes to the owner running the place and says "I want to hire one of your prostitutes, but I only have a dollar, is there anyone here that I can hire with that?" The owner looks at him for a minute and he says "well, I don't think you'll find any ladies here for that cheap, but there is a duck." The guy takes a minute and figures, what the hell why not. He pays the owner and goes upstairs and screws the duck. Bout a week later the guy comes back, and asks to screw the duck again. The owner says "Well that duck isn't here right now, but you can have this other duck." As the guy hands over his dollar the owner starts talking "oh, that'll be 5 dollars." The guy stops and says "what? All I have is 1 dollar, it didn't cost five dollars last week!" The owner says "Well that other duck has aids."
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The black crime rate [spoiler]goddem[/spoiler]
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What has more brains than an American student The walls behind them
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5 RepliesLate at night I was walking into my bedroom and I tripped I guess you could say it was pretty dark baduntst
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Napalm sticks to kids, napalm sticks to kids like glue! And their mommas and their daddies too!
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Groundskeeper for a cemetery is doing his daily rounds when sees a man kneeling in front of a tombstone. As he gets closer to the man he can hear him bawling. He musters up the poise to console the man. "Sir, you seem pretty upset by your loss. I can only assume it was a close loved one. Was it your Father? Mother?" The broken turns around, takes a deep sigh, and says: "Neither. It was my wife's first husband."
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Username checks out...
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A man ask if life was worth living wearing a coat,shoes,and shirt all was exspensive. But later when it wasnt enough and caught a glimpse of love he truly realize. It get better then worse or so that what thought. The next day as he woke the clothes were gone the home was a abandon shack miles away. And lastly the girl he cared was all bones. [spoiler]guess love taste so good if you think wishes come true[/spoiler]
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Why do women have babies? Because it hurts and they deserve it! Sorry
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4 Replies[quote]Don’t worry. Suicide is the last thing I’ll ever do. [/quote]
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3 Replies"My dick is like a choking hazard" "Oh so you should stay away from young children?"
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1 ReplyHow many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? [spoiler]Trick question, they just beat the room for being black.[/spoiler]
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There's a quote I like from SpongeBob when it's sexy time. [quote]Are your ready kids?![/quote] Also if you hear those same words in a church f-ing run.
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If Santa hates poor people, like many people say, wouldn't that make him racist?
