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10/7/2014 5:43:10 PM
429
Bungie, you are wrong. I am right.
Destiny has been out for a small while now, and I have skipped many a day of school and responsibilities to play it - as a result, I consider myself to be an expert on not only Destiny, but also on everything ever.
Due to my absolute amazing abilities, I have named myself Sir Tyrant Pope Emperor King Leader of this cry-munity.
In accordance with this revelation, I have created a list intended for those responsible for both creating and fixing the game, to read, and reflect upon. Since I am the expert on everything, you don't have a choice, and you also work for me now.
1. You should have included all planned content with the game from Day 1, for free. (Including random ideas you had while drunk). That way, I could beat everything and then comment on how there's not enough content. Either way, I am the winner.
2. Why did you not make me the only one who couldn't die? I expected that, upon entering PvP, that my mere presence would kill every enemy player immediately, and repeatedly.
3. Why can't you match colors? Almost everyone knows the difference between green and blue, blue and purple. Why don't you?
4. Nightfall is too hard. Stop pandering to those who play more.
5. Nightfall is too easy. Stop pandering to casuals.
6. Raid is too challenging. I should be able to solo. Final boss should be an unarmed level 1 Dreg, who commits suicide upon seeing my glorious form.
7. These guns are too good, please nerf.
8. These guns are too weak, now useless.
9. Low effort is not yielding high reward. I don't see how that makes sense.
10. Fix your servers.
11. Fix them faster, I skipped school today.
12. Fix this
13. Fix that
14. You fixed them too much, fix it.
15. Why should I even have to work at this? You should have given me a game where I had all the best everything and unlimited materials, right from first login.
I hope you now realize everything you did wrong and will fix it, five minutes ago.
Signed,
Sir Tyrant Pope Emperor King Leader, Sel Fishkidd the Glorious
TL;DR - How about you let my cry-munity take over. My legions of whiners and simpletons know what exactly would make this game better.
English
#Destiny
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#SirTyrantPopeEmperorKingLeader
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Hellllooooo
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2 RepliesHello from the future.
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Necro bump
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1 ReplyEdited by M4L1: 10/11/2015 8:55:33 AMYou sir deserve your title this kept me the entire time....i applaud what you did there.
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10 RepliesEdited by Lethalizer: 10/9/2014 7:01:56 PMIdiots. The whole post was a witty subliminal request for Bungie to legalize marriage between Warlocks and Titans so they can breed a new race of Guardians called a TitLock. THAT WAS THE MESSAGE. P.S. Did you know 343 Guilty Spark actually tried out to be a Ghost in Destiny, but was denied because of the fact that entire statement makes no sense and isn't true? I didn't either but we, as a community, must collectively feel so bad for The Reclaimer because it simply, no matter how you see it, wasn't The Flood that planted Magnolias in the Black Garden, it was some random gardening crew who typed the address wrong into Google Maps, lost cell service, and then subsequently Bungie jumped off a bubble shield that was actually made of Grimoire cards. DUH.
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1 ReplyThis post has more content than Destiny itself.
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14 is the best
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7 RepliesYour not the best so shut it and you aren't telling everyone to do unless I call ya a slave lord wannabe but still please just shut it
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I actually agree with almost everything you say! just two parts kinda bug me: 7. These guns are too good, please nerf. 8. These guns are too weak, now useless. Yeah this goes back and forth but honestly that's just the fate of all games with rpg/mmo elements. And it really can be a delicate balance they need to be balanced but it can be annoying getting them to a good balance.
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Needed this.
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All hail Plankton...
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1 Reply[quote]Fix this[/quote] [quote]Fix that[/quote] [quote]You fixed them too much, fix it[/quote] Freakin priceless dude. Thanks for the laughs
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LOL!!!!!
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1 ReplyYour a sycopath
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My. Sides. -blam!-ing. Hurt. XD
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Hail to the king
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The internet is yours for today.
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UK.... they don't read this right ....they know what to work on theyre doing it right now it's a new game stfu u aren't cool cause u beat a game
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that was one of the best reads in my entire life. Thank You.
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you are our new leader
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You sir have become legend.
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I will follow your majestic and holy night into the battle against bungie anywhere oh great sire lord pope emperor guy thing!
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Timeout, this is way too biased. You forgot to mention "Fix this and Broke that so fix that and break this." Don't cut them sentences!
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You have my sword and shield by your side, let us all aggrandize the one true king of the realm, and with it usher in the return of the Jedi
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1 Reply"6. Raid is too challenging. I should be able to solo. Final boss should be an unarmed level 1 Dreg, who commits suicide upon seeing my glorious form." I lol'd.
