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9/27/2018 12:34:36 AM
24
ITT: Post your favorite Chuck Norris jokes.
inb4 "Dead meme lul"
I don't care how cringey they are, post 'em anyways. I want to check my phone after class (6:00-8:20pm PDT) and see a -blam!-ing [i]ocean[/i] of mediocre jokes.
Hit me with your best shot.
English
#Offtopic
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John cena killed chuck norris
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Jesus may have walked on water but Chuck Norris swims through land
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Chuck Norris doesn’t do comedy because no one has ever laughed at Chuck Norris and lived
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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1 ReplyEdited by OldboyVicious: 9/29/2018 11:24:46 PMChuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. Chuck Norris made a deal with the devil for amazing martial arts skills. The devil now has amazing martial arts skills and Chuck Norris owns the devil's soul.
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When Chuck Norris left for college he told his father You're the man of the house now.
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When Chuck Norris has sex he is always on top. Chuck Norris [i]never[/i] -blam!-s up! Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection; there were no survivors. If you placed a phonograph needle on Chuck Norris’s left nipple you would hear “Hotel California” by The Eagles.
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... Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed five people then it exploded... [spoiler]not included in the DLC[/spoiler]
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Chuck Norris’ English teacher asked them to write a report on courage. Chuck Norris took a blank piece of paper, wrote his name on it, turned it in, and got an A+.
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You use Cortana on your phone, Chuck Norris uses Cell 3!
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Chuck Norris upvotes SlimSlimmy
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Only 2 things can survive a nuclear blast, roaches and Chuck Norris. The Big Bang was the first time Chuck Norris punched something. The Earth stopped spinning once and Chuck Norris had to roundhouse kick it into spinning again......that was how we lost the dinosaurs son. Why doesn't Chuck Norris shave? As if a mere blade could cut Chuck Norris's beard!
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Chuck Norris was once in Wheel of Fortune and he got the first spin. They had to wait 45 minutes for the wheel to stop.
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As a joke Chuck Norris once peed in the gas tank of a truck. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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[b]Chuck Norris[/b] is the only person who can [b]erase Saitonia.[/b] [spoiler][b]Why did I say that about myself? Shit.[/b][/spoiler]
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1 ReplyJesus walks on water. Chuck Norris swims through land.
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When chuck norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe [spoiler]he asks for a handgun and bucket[/spoiler]
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Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris once had a near death experience. Needless to say Death won’t go near him now. Chuck Norris’s tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cry’s. Space exists because it’s too scared to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris. Behind Chuck Norris’s beard is another fist. When chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor. Chuck Norris can count to infinity, twice. The boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris before he sleeps. Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the Earth away from him. Chuck Norris best the sun in a staring contest. Chuck Norris doesn’t count sheep. Sheep count Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn’t read. He stares at the words until they jump off the page into his brain.
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11 RepliesOMG [spoiler]IS THAT THE LEGIT ONE SHOT TED[/spoiler]
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Chuck Norris got shot. We are now in the hospital where the bullet is in critical condition.
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1 ReplyWhy don't people joke about Bruce Lee? [spoiler]Because he isn't one.[/spoiler]
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If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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They say within q commercial on a plane full of snake with whiskey half poured and a man filing taxes. While everything burning up. Chuck Norris stand still holding a steak with a fist within a beard with a spork gold plate Norris
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3 RepliesBump for later
