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7/26/2016 3:55:39 AM
11
STOP DEATH CANCER
Death cancer is a new and the most deadly kind of cancer found in golden edition peeps (metallic colored marshmallows) and the fatality rate is 100%
This, consequently, has lead to a very large increase in global warming, and environmental speeches from Obama
The Economy has been affected too! Sales for hybrids (mostly the Toyota Prius) have increased by 95%, meaning oil investors and car companies have lost millions in the stock market
This deadly chain of affects, that started with a golden bird shaped marshmallow, has caused a 85% increase in environmental and vegan rants on the my little pony forum.
Which in turn has triggered a study that revealed results that republicans are 60% more likely to be hostile on the topic of global warming, and Donald trump bought himself a rocket powered tractor to drive in his hometown just to prove environmentalists wrong.
Trumps fire spewing tractor from the lake of fire has for some reason caused Obama to go on anti gun speeches 60% more often. Theses anti gun speeches have made moderates and independents 55% more hostile towards both dominant parties, meaning that their voters have stopped voting altogether. Because of global warming caused by death cancer, wildfires in the west have become staggeringly large. From 7000 yards a day to 7000 yards an hour. Half of California has been engulfed in flames, and because of this, insurance companies had to pay for the recovery of over 2000 vegan restaurants.
This has made the official Reddit vegan group very angry, and has been plaguing every political subgroup on Reddit for over two months with pro-vegan spam. Also, the number of datboi memes have skyrocketed for some reason.
Bungie.net forums have been in an uproar over these turn of events. Members say that the cancerous golden peeps are worse than aggressive atheist user "noiselesspurse16" and edgy feminist user "anomaly" they say even these comparisons are understatements.
Because of how deadly golden peeps are, the company has lost over 12 trillion dollars combined. The FDA said nothing on the topic of the cancerous marshmallows except "we've bought a lot of bleach and plan to drink it soon."
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has commented briefly on it saying "it's the rich people's fault." We couldn't get any more commentary because democrats had to shield her from FBI agents attempting to arrest her for bribing.
Death cancer is not only the leading cause of death but also the reason why we have so many problems in America. Stop death cancer, it's a raging monster that wants to kill the USA, quite literally.
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1 Replydank bump
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4 RepliesI got death cancer from tumblr we need to put more research into this disease
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[quote]STOP DEATH CANCER[/quote] START LIFE CANCER
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Shitpost supreme
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Fight cancer with cancer
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3 RepliesBump again
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1 ReplyTell them I has SUPER CANCER
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5 RepliesWhat even.....?
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1 Reply[quote]Death cancer is a new and the most deadly kind of cancer found in golden edition peeps (metallic colored marshmallows) and the fatality rate is 100% This, consequently, has lead to a very large increase in global warming, and environmental speeches from Obama The Economy has been affected too! Sales for hybrids (mostly the Toyota Prius) have increased by 95%, meaning oil investors and car companies have lost millions in the stock market This deadly chain of affects, that started with a golden bird shaped marshmallow, has caused a 85% increase in environmental and vegan rants on the my little pony forum. Which in turn has triggered a study that revealed results that republicans are 60% more likely to be hostile on the topic of global warming, and Donald trump bought himself a rocket powered tractor to drive in his hometown just to prove environmentalists wrong. Trumps fire spewing tractor from the lake of fire has for some reason caused Obama to go on anti gun speeches 60% more often. Theses anti gun speeches have made moderates and independents 55% more hostile towards both dominant parties, meaning that their voters have stopped voting altogether. Because of global warming caused by death cancer, wildfires in the west have become staggeringly large. From 7000 yards a day to 7000 yards an hour. Half of California has been engulfed in flames, and because of this, insurance companies had to pay for the recovery of over 2000 vegan restaurants. This has made the official Reddit vegan group very angry, and has been plaguing every political subgroup on Reddit for over two months with pro-vegan spam. Also, the number of datboi memes have skyrocketed for some reason. Bungie.net forums have been in an uproar over these turn of events. Members say that the cancerous golden peeps are worse than aggressive atheist user "noiselesspurse16" and edgy feminist user "anomaly" they say even these comparisons are understatements. Because of how deadly golden peeps are, the company has lost over 12 trillion dollars combined. The FDA said nothing on the topic of the cancerous marshmallows except "we've bought a lot of bleach and plan to drink it soon." Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has commented briefly on it saying "it's the rich people's fault." We couldn't get any more commentary because democrats had to shield her from FBI agents attempting to arrest her for bribing. Death cancer is not only the leading cause of death but also the reason why we have so many problems in America. Stop death cancer, it's a raging monster that wants to kill the USA, quite literally.[/quote] Don't forget ISIS.
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6 Repliesbump self shameless
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I'd rather drag a cheese grater across my but sack then read this paragraph
