if someone shoots at me I take damage and I die I have never once come against someone shooting me and not taken any damage but now you mentioned xbox im not surprised that you have laggers, after all it is a Microsoft product, maybe try playing it on a different console ;)
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Congrats you don't get a report, but you obviously have no idea how bad red bars are to face. I will put a clip or two into a red bar, never see damage register, all of a sudden die, then in my death screen I see the red bar die from me a full 2-3 seconds later. And you are so right. It's Microsofts fault that Bungie doesn't have dedicated servers and can't get matchmaking right across all platforms. It's Microsofts fault PS players are seeing the same shit in the Crucible.
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I have had that happen to me before probably why the most medals I have are the post mortem one, it does get frustrating but I usually just blame it on my own connection for example last weekend during trials I unloaded a full clip of my hand cannon ( its equipped on hunter) into the other guys body and he kills me with melee after taking all 12 shots Microsoft products are easier to exploit, im not blaming Microsoft for all the problems but I rarely see It happen on playstation I wasn't around with the CBMM and only recently started playing (3 Months Ago) but SBMM does seem perfectly fine sometimes I get annihilated and sometimes I end up doing quite well, it has nothing to do with my connection there are other issues that also contribute to the overall problem