When he's petting his dog and it dies from a heart attack, right there in his lap. [spoiler]this happened to me.[/spoiler] [spoiler]R.I.P. Pink Floyd ;-;[/spoiler]

When your girlfriend cheats on you that would make me cry

When some bitch decides she wants to be a mother after being voluntarily nonexistant for the first five years of your little girls life, and the state of virginia gives said bitch primary custody despite overwhelming evidence of neglect and abandonment. Then, after those five years of teaching her to walk and talk amd potty training and being there for anything and everything that little girl needs, said bitch who was given custody simply because shes a woman in virginia continues to file frivolous show causes against you, whittling down whatever visitation time you have because she has a personal grudge against you and her boyfriend wants to be your little girls dad and push you out of her life completely. Oh, and while all of that is going on, being diagnosed with PTSD and severe depressive disorder due to military service. Thats what makes me cry. Sorry, didnt mean to get too real there.

Actually, on another note aside from a swift kick in the balls. At least for me, losing any pet or loved one is enough for me to be in tears.

Look, if you had mom's spaghetti, Would you capture it or just let it slip? Yo His palms spaghetti, knees weak, arms spaghetti There's vomit on his sweater spaghetti, mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm spaghetti to drop bombs, But he keeps on spaghetti what he wrote down, The whole crowd goes spaghetti He opens his mouth, but spaghetti won't come out He's choking how, everybody's joking now spaghetti run out, time's up, over, bloah! Snap back to spaghetti, Oh there goes spaghetti Oh, there goes spaghetti, bloah He's so mad, but he won't give up spaghetti, no. He won't have it, he knows he keeps on forgetting that mom's spaghetti's dope He knows that but he's broke He's so stagnant, he knows When he goes back to his mom's spaghetti, that's when it's Back to the lab again, yo This whole spaghetti He better go capture spaghetti and hope it don't pass him You better lose yourself in mom's spaghetti, it's ready you better never let it go(go) You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime yo You better lose yourself in mom's spaghetti, it's ready you better never let it go(go) You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime yo (You better) The soul's escaping, through this hole that is gaping mom's spaghetti's mine for the taking Make me spaghetti, as we move toward a new world order A normal sweater is boring, but mom's spaghetti's close to post mortem It only grows harder, spaghetti grows hotter He vomits all over. spaghetti's all on him Coast to coast shows, he blows his own daughter He only grows harder, only grows hotter He goes home and barely knows his own mom's spaghetti there's vomit on his mom's spaghetti His hoes don't want him no more, he's cold spaghetti They moved on to the next schmoe who flows man he knows his palms are sweaty ope hes calm and ready ope and unfolds I suppose it's old spaghetti chewed up and spit out he's chokin now You better lose yourself in mom's spaghetti, it's ready you better never let it go(go) You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime yo You better lose yourself in mom's spaghetti, it's ready you better never let it go(go) You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime yo (You better) No more games, I'ma change what you call spaghetti Tear this mother-blam!-ing roof off like two mom's spaghettis I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed spaghetti chewed up and spit out and there's vomit on his sweater But I kept chewin and stepped right into the next cypher Hold your nose cause here goes the damn diaper All the vomit inside amplified by the fact That I keep on forgetting to make spaghetti And I can't provide the right type of spaghetti for my family Cause man, these goddamn food stamps don't buy spaghetti And it's no movie, there's no mom's spaghetti, this is my life And these palms are so sweaty, and i'm so hard My seed's escaping through this hole that is gaping caught up between being a father and a prima donna Baby vomit's on his sweater already Mom's spaghetti he's nervous bloah another day of monotony Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a mom I've got to formulate spaghetti or I end up in jail or shot spaghetti is my only mother-blam!-ing option, vomit's not Mom, I love you, but this vomit's got to go ope ope, led de dome de dome led de dome de dome So here I go it's my shot. this may be the only mom's spaghetti that I got You better lose yourself in mom's spaghetti, it's ready you better never let it go(go) You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime yo You better lose yourself in mom's spaghetti, it's ready you better never let it go(go) You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime yo (You better) Mom's Spaghetti You can do anything man

When you're pounding a girl hard in the ass and your foreskin tears

When I get a 99/100 on my test and my parents make me sleep outside as punishment for not doing good enough