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#feedback

Edited by Slain: 1/6/2016 2:22:48 PM
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Slain

From the desk of Jon Weisnewski

>insert meaningless opening paragraph here, so as to stall the reader< [b][u]Auto rifles[/u][/b] We recently made a significant buff to auto rifles, and we feel we may have overdone it. Changes: -decrease base damage by 20% (typo. Sorry. It's actually 0.02%) -start damage falloff at melee range [b][u]Pulse rifles[/u][/b] Someone brought up in the crucible radio interview that the recent pulse nerf trivializes the existence of high impact/low rof archetypes. That got me thinking: "Shit. Red death can still 2-burst people with low armor". So, we put an end to that. Changes: -reduce base damage by 12% (not a typo) -greatly reduce stability [b][u]Hand Cannons[/u][/b] Hand cannons are fine right now, but people are complaining about hawkmoon, and I thought: "Shit. Hawkmoon is still remotely useful" Hawkmoon changes: -increase magazine size to 15 to reduce LITC proc chance -reduce range by 20 -change damage bonus multiplier to 1.00001 [b][u]Scout Rifles[/u][/b] People have been using scouts a lot lately, and that got me thinking "That means they're overpowered, right?" They're just plain fun to use, I'll admit, and that's the problem. Fun doesn't exactly have a place here. Changes: -reduce base damage by 10% -greatly reduce stability MIDA multitool changes: -MIDA multitool perk replaced by 'replenish', one of our most useful weapon talents -greatly reduce stability (in addition to blanket stability nerf) -reduce magazine size to 12 [b][u]Fusion rifles[/u][/b] There's actually this guy in the studio who is really good with fusion rifles. Because of him, our internal playtests reflect numbers which tell us they're still op as -blam!-. Changes: -reduce stability -reduce ads accuracy -reduce base damage by 20% [b][u]Sidearms[/u][/b] People complain about the dumbest shit like bullet travel time on dreg's promise and too much recoil. Lol like wut? Our numbers say otherwise. Changes: -decrease range by 25 -reduce ads accuracy -globally reduce magazine sizes and reserve ammo [b]Swords[/b] A bunch of 12 year olds were like "nerf swords!" They've never steered us wrong. Changes: -reduce ammo inventory by 20% -reduce lunge to half its current distance Bolt caster changes: -heavy attack uses 20 ammo instead of 5 -heavy attack now fires a paper airplane Dark drinker changes: -Heavy attack lasts 1 second Raze lighter changes: -heavy attack now instantly dismantles this sword [b][u]Shotguns[/u][/b] We feel like we put shotguns in a good place. Problem is they still kill people from time to time, and our guns aren't supposed to do that. Changes: -Players cannot sprint while holding a shotgun -globally reduce ammo inventory -globally slow handling [b][u]Exotic weapon tuning[/u][/b] Many people think exotics are supposed to be the powerful class. We disagree. If something looks different, and makes a different sound when it shoots, it's exotic. We're gonna put some of the exotics right in line with legendaries. The chaperone -now fires a spitball -slower handling Sleeper Simulant -replaced with a $2 laser pointer from the checkout line at walmart. -only bounces off shiny objects. Ace of spades -firefly replaced with army of one -maverick perk only procs on a 360 hip fire headshot kill Bad juju -string of curses replaced with "inverse inverse shadow"-kills with this weapon drain your super See ya next year.
English
#feedback #satire

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  • Necrobump

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  • The exotics sword perks were hilarious. The sad thing is, this really appears to be their mentality when thinking of these "so-called" weapon balances they attempt. From what Bungie has stated, they have 150 play testers. Obviously these play testers don't really know what the hell the are doing. It seems they may be using a WiiU control pad when they actually try and play test. (Everybody should get that reference). Bring in REAL players to play this game for them, because it seems as bad as DeeJ is at Crucible, apparently he is the one that is crying about all the nerfs! And STOP DESTROYING THE PvE SIDE WITH THESE STUPID, USELESS WEAPON "balances". We all know you guys can't balance yourselves even while standing on 2 feet on a flat surface, let alone weapon balance. Stop destroying our game.

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  • Edited by Deonix12: 1/6/2016 1:52:33 AM
    Guys, c'mon this is why the people at bungie aren't making anything great and new, because we're all hating on EVERYTHING they do (althouthg the nerfs were [i]actually[/i] stupid). We should give them some POSITIVE feedback for once.

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    8 Replies
    • [quote]Raze lighter changes: -heavy attack now instantly dismantles this sword[/quote] [b][i]Time of Death:[/i][/b] 4:37 PM 01/07/2016 [b][i]Cause of Death:[/i][/b] Literally just could not...

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      • Edited by Stealth Nine: 1/8/2016 11:58:20 AM
        [quote] [b][u]Fusion rifles[/u][/b] There's actually this guy in the studio who is really good with fusion rifles. Because of him, our internal playtests reflect numbers which tell us they're still op as -blam!-. Changes: -reduce stability -reduce ads accuracy -reduce base damage by 20% [b][u]Sidearms[/u][/b] People complain about the dumbest shit like bullet travel time on dreg's promise and too much recoil. Lol like wut? Our numbers say otherwise. Changes: -decrease range by 25 -reduce ads accuracy -globally reduce magazine sizes and reserve ammo [/quote] I read these in Jon's voice. I "lol'd"

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      • Raze lighter legit made me choke while laughing

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        • +1 Sad, but true.

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        • [quote]A bunch of 12 year olds were like "nerf swords!" They've never steered us wrong.[/quote] You had me at this. Holy shit.

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          • No dude what are you doing you just gave him ideas!!! great now they're going to implement every idea you just put on here because this shit is better than half the shit they come up with on a -blam!-ing yearly basis

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          • 9/11 would read again

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          • Where's Boo?

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          • Bump!

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          • Hilarious, I love it!

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          • It's too close to the real thing. This cant be a parody.

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            1 Reply
            • Not satire

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            • You mistakenly put a satire hashtag

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            • Hey Jon, that fusion wizard from your Dev team.....fire him, this way you can stop F'ing Fusions over because no one likes that guy and they want to put an end to his madness.

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            • Haha, great post. :-) You only forgot to give one weapon archtype a ridiculous buff of 15% to start a new "weapon season" Luke Smith is so fond of. Besides that: perfect Jon post!

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            • Dear god the MIDA nerf. XD I love the Bolt Caster nerf though. My favorite sword get's paper airplanes! Woohoo!

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              • I laughed fking hard cause its the truth Fire him please

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              • Edited by stadwick: 1/6/2016 3:44:13 PM
                CORRECTION, damage fall off starts as soon as it leaves barrel. This is funniest shit ever. Raze lighter heavy attack dismantles sword hahaha. Bolt caster fires paper airplane.

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              • Oh man, so good. Literally LOL'ed here at work. Good stuff man.

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              • I actually laughed when I read the fusion rifle part.

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                • Nice hehe

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                • lmfao this is the funniest post I've ever seen on the forums 10/10

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                • This is a good post. I hope it gets to them.

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