**I cleaned up where I didn't hit the beats just right in a couple places. Works way better now. Hope you enjoy a bit of a laugh. I think I did better on this one than I did for "Bungie's Mess," honestly. Was fun to do.** "You Still Buy" by BlitzWolf69 ~Parody of "Still Alive" from Portal Look at our Triumphs. And what of our Seals? Now that's content. It's hard to ever make The game feel balanced. Bungie or 'Vision? Can you even tell the difference? For the good of all players, Except the ones who have left. Now we hear you screaming about all our mistakes. We just keep on patching beyond what you can take. And the nerfing gets done, now you hate that neat gun. But you people, we know, will still buy! You say that you're angry. We swear we hear, you all, right now. So we're taking out, again, Telesto. And improving drop rates On all the exotics left in Raids. Now they'll shoot up by a whole One percent every week. Now, we test our data. What a beautiful lie. It's just like the beta Only price is too high. It's your wallets we burn Yet you never seem to learn. And you people, we know, will Still buy. Go on and leave us. We're sure that you won't return again. Maybe you'll find other games to play, too. What about "Anthem?" That was a joke. Ha ha. Fat chance. Anyway Tess has new stock, So many emotes! Your choice. Look at us still selling Every update to you. When we look online No criticism to view. Get a shader for your gun Buy more styles! Now that's fun. 'Cause you people, we know, will Still buy. While we are laughing, we know, you Still buy. Though we aren't changing, we know, you Still buy. Content gets vaulted, we know, you Still buy. And while we don't care, we know, you Still buy. Re-skinned nostalgia, we know, you Still buy. You still buy. Yes, you buy.