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12/8/2016 7:48:34 PM
286
Me Titan am sad
Dear Bungie friends,
Me Titan am sad, winter here and Titan IS COLD! Me want big blanket like big mouth hunter man or warm coat like magic nerd. Titan have many towels but they are all small and only keep Titan butt warm. Me Titan write letter to Santa for years but me think Santa ghost not find him yet so Titan am sad.
One day Titan get HYPE when he climb up big rock home of the liar man with best boomstick ever and Titan see Saladman with big blanket! But no, Saladman is old and mean to Titan, he say, "git gud," and "Titan can go stand in sunspot if cold," but sunspot only warm for small time so me Titan am sad again.
I guess big mouth funny hunter man in tower heard Titan was sad one day because he tell Titan he know secret about where Titan can get big blanket, he give Titan secret spy decoder ring and secret message to unlock but then Titan find out secret is just crappy ovaltine commercial, so me Titan am sad again.
Me Titan not just want blanket for free even, can do many things for friends like make strong bubbles or punch big scary things like shanks. Titan can even do quest for blanket, even if death reset titan progress like quest for stupid poison gun where Titan had nothing but blue boomstick to complete quest. Titan is strong with big head and can complete many quest for blanket.
Titan sees Deej, bungie friend of magic nerd, and Cozmo, bungie friend of big mouth hunter man, but where is bungie friend of Titan? Is none. So please bungie friend, give Titan big blanket because Titan am sad and cosmodrome is cold place for Titan now.
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Bamp.
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Yes you cry like you titans did in year 1. Abbadon is undecided to light your funeral pyre?
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18 RepliesHunter Here. These cloaks aren't what they look like. *whispers* They aren't actually warm, they're just for show like half the warlock's showing off their "big brains" Warlock: I heard that. Hunter: Big ears too. Warlock: I will bash your face in. Hunter: From what? over there? Warlock: *melees* Hunter: Wait. Ghost: Guardian Down. Warlock: Git Gud Zcrub do u even play dentist tree? Lol u nub u can't play the gam git gud us a reaal gun like mi meli
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💔💔💔💔My heart hurts. The feeling is to real.
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Me titan say so true so trues
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225 RepliesEdited by Fck You: 12/9/2016 4:45:25 PMWhat a Shame, a Good idea marred by a cringeworthy, unoriginal attempt at a flawed titan stereotype [spoiler]gtf muted, get this trash off my screen [/spoiler] [spoiler]Edit: lmao it seems I have triggered the white knights, don't worry I'll get to you all...🙃 Edit: you guys making this too easy, some of you didn't even try... what did you expect was gonna happen? Edit: who's next? Edit DGC lemanRuss was next Edit: keep them coming ppl, seriously tho Puppets Edit: 50 of the 100 comments is me wrecking ppl Edit: looks like we're still going.... I don't think they understand yet Edit: wrecking ppl on here is more fun than the actual game Edit: lol @ the ppl sending me Private messages, I think they're really trying to hurt my feelings[/spoiler]
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Edited by Sigma Whale: 12/14/2016 5:00:34 AMSomeone already made a post like this some time ago.
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3 RepliesMy son was born 9/9/14. I asked bungie for titan bib. Never heard back from bungie. Bungie no like titan. Didn't they give a female warlock a wedding ring for a bitch ass male hunter. -blam!- bungie
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1 ReplyHey Cold Titan guy, Sunbreaker way to go. This Titan always warm from heat of sun. Great Sol, our gentle star, our power and strength. This Titan always warm, Void no good for Titan, is too cold (-235 Kelvin cold! That's too cold). Forget bubbles, they are cold cold. Solar is Key. Sunbreaker always warm, he needs no blanket. Share love of hot sun with Hammer Time. Clank Clank. Me makes many Sunspots, enemies buuuuurrrrn. KILL, PURGE, CLEANSE! With warm sunspot fire. It is the way, the truth & the life. Sunbreaker. (Hot hot)
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3 RepliesDo worry not, titan man, friendly wizard nerd knows where to get big blanket. You must have to go to the big oyrx ship and find big boy named warpriest. Before mr priest appears he has a big large orb of dark blackness you can do a jump into. If u hop into it, it give big blanket that cover more than just butt!
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10 RepliesMe me me, all Titans ever think about are themselves. Btw, does this cloak match my gun?
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2 RepliesYou see! Even this dimly-lit-bulb of a Titan can use Paragraph Breaks. What is everyone else's excuse?
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I'm a wizard nerd, here to help! I think Saladman gives you book that rewards you with special clothes. With other special trinkets you can earn, these clothes can be upgraded to have fireplaces in them! Would that help?
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4 RepliesThe salt from this light hearted post is hilarious. This community is so full of cry babies no wonder Bungo takes advantage of you nerds. 😂😂😂
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7 RepliesEdited by Dog_Of_War_1138: 12/9/2016 3:08:34 PMTake it from me; go back to school, attend an English class with hot co-eds, learn first-person pronouns, grammar, verb conjugation and spelling. You will become not only a muscular Titan but a mental titan as well. Hot women will swarm all over you and keep you warm. You might even have a wild after-school-special fling with a crazy-sexy teacher, who will show you new ways to conjugate her verbs (if you know what I mean). Then you'll be a physical and intellectual super-stud. Just like me.
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6 RepliesIt's not a dress, it's a ballistic curtain.... Sincerely, a Warlock
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1 ReplyMe want blanket too. Titan have to pop bubble and fart in for warmth.
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1 ReplyTitan feel angry at cold sky. Scream at snow to stop but only answere was Magic nerd laughing. Why does magic nerd laugh and little hunter fist bump? Titan fist bump back and little hunter sleeps. Magic nerd says "oh no, not again Lenny". Why sleep on cold ground? Big mouth hunter at tower will be angry at lazy little hunter. Little hunter friend, no want to see yelled at so Titan tie him to back. Now Titan happy, friend sleeps, Titan warm, magic nerd still laugh. Time to work.
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3 RepliesAm magic man, am also cold. Coat give no warmth, only sad. I'm ask for heat, only coat resist heat attack. Arm ring sometimes fire, but hologram give no heat! Coat catch fire when space bike hot flames get close, only warm for short time but coat burn like toast.
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14 Repliesthis isnt clever, funny, or going to happen. stop -blam!-ing doing this. the fact that this is the top post makes me hate this community titans and warlocks should never get cloaks.
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2 RepliesChristmas story references, huh? OK, I'll go. Oddish goes up to Santa Claus. He takes a seat next to him because a 235-pound dude on Santa's lap is wrong on all levels. SANTA: "So, young ma... ah, middle-aged man. What do you want for Christmas?" ODDISH: "I want a Clever Dragon, a Nova Mortis, and a Gjallarhorn." SANTA: "I see." ODDISH: "I guess this is the part where you say I'll shoot my eye out. Right?" SANTA: "More likely vaporize yourself completely. Especially with the Gjallie." ODDISH: "You have a point." SANTA: "But there's a problem... you're using a legacy console. Which puts you TOTALLY on Santa's Naughty list!" He stands up. Rather than give the hapless Guardian a candy cane and shove him down a slide, he pulls out a thick peppermint stick and rams it through Oddish's skull. Then he executes a spinning back kick on him, propelling him off the Tower. Oddish plummets to a messy, blood-splattering death on the concrete below. A few seconds later, his Ghost respawns him. ODDISH: "Ho ho ho, my arse."
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2 RepliesEven if the Titan got a blanket it would probably expire at the end of the Dawning! When he did finally get that blanket he might not be able to pick it up because of his T-Rex arms... Hunters would probably mistake him for one of their own; only for one of them to run off with it because the Titan couldn't hold on to it and the Hunter's Mark of the Undying Mind didn't keep them warm (and it was getting moldy)... Then of course the Warlocks would probably do something to instigate a fight between the Titans and Hunters just to record the results to see who would win in said fight (nerds, no one would win because now we can only glare at each other due to nerfs)... Eventually, the tower would get wrecked leaving the city vulnerable and the Last City would be taken by the Fallen. The Fallen would then be overrun by the Hive and the darkness and the universe would come to it's final conclusive shape... A blanket torn and slightly singed floating endlessly through the vast, dying cosmos... All because someone gave a Titan a blanket...
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I love the Christmas Story reference!!! One of my top five movies of all time!!!
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3 RepliesVariks get on the comms what did he say?
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1 ReplyMe titan. Me friends with hunter and magic man. Me do not understand why hunter and magic man so mad at me. Sometimes me make bubbles for friends. Other time me friends say mean things at me because of big slam fist. Sometimes me just scared and do not know what to do. Please hunter and space magic man do not hate titan anymore me want to be friend. Also why hate me big scary fist it hurt big bug things, scary skeleton people, big frogs , and takin guys for friends so we all live and play together. Me try to not punch with scary lightning fist but some times magic man come back from dead and DAT really scary so me punch sometime hunter sneak up on titan and me so scared me punch hard. Please don't hat titan me just want friend. [spoiler]OP Internet Police [/spoiler]
