Someone broke their $400 calculator.

there's this group that -blam!-s everything up for me. I was talking to this girl I like and right before I asked her out this little fatass from said group walked up to me and loudly exclaimed all I wanted is a BJ. so me and this girl are both socially awkward already and the entire group forced us to hold hands before my friend could help. she still hasn't forgiven me for some weird shit about not manning up, or the guys for -blam!-ing up our conversation

When the white kid gets roasted and then starts to reach for his bag

Caught a hot girl staring at me, instantly got a boner

When people said- wow you're so tall- [spoiler]so I gave them a seductive wink[/spoiler]

I had a friend who would always mess with me and crap and we were pretty chill and she would always pinch my nipples an stuff I never had feelings for her cause we were good friends. I had Gym with her for two quarters in a row and later in the year we had a swim week. She wasn't unattractive or anything but she would never really try I guess so I would never really look at her you know like you would a girl but anyways. I saw her the first day in a bikini and as soon as I saw her my jaw dropped and she started blushing. She got mad at me and punched me but that's not the bad part. The bad part was that I wasn't aloud in the pool because I had a broken arm at the time so I was just supposed to watch. Well after awhile of watching her she noticed something..... And when class was over and she came out to walk with me she started teasing me and she hasn't let me forget since.

When we were finished with our swimming class in our gymnastics we took a shower and all of us peaked against each other to see who has the biggest dick

Called my teacher Mom once. [spoiler]Oh wait I'm homeschooled.[/spoiler]

-BOOOOOOOOORING! You don't wanna hear about that, Vault Hunter! You wanna hear about LOOT! AND PECS! AND EXPLOSIONS! I'm Torgue, and I am here to ask you one question, and one question only: EXPLOSIONS?!" "We here at the Torgue Corporation sincerely think that this is F*CKING AWESOME!!" "THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES! APOLOGIZE!" "Before you can enter the tournament, you must digitally sign our legal waiver." "Just kidding! F*CK THE LEGAL WAIVER! You're in TORGUE LAND now, sucker!" "Right now, you're ranked fifty in the badass leaderboards, which puts you behind my grandma but ahead of a guy she gummed to death. IT TOOK SEVERAL HOURS." "Also, you need a sponsor for MOTHAF*CKIN' LEGAL REASONS!" "You may have noticed that everyone here is trying to kill you, Torgue personnel included. YOU'RE WELCOME. I didn't want you to get bored so I was like, F*ck it, give everybody guns! We lost like half our workforce in three days, but who gives a F*CK!?" "I probably shoulda set you up with a sponsor beforehand but I am F*CKIN' DISORGANIZED AS SH*T and was busy suplexing a shark wearing a bolo tie when I should have been setting up sponsors. You may ask, "Who was wearing the bolo tie, you or the shark?" Answer: YES." "IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT SEEM LIKE HE'S GONNA BETRAY THE F*CK OUTTA YOU!?" "Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like our next combatant has arrived! Does the Vault Hunter have what it takes to survive the Appetite for Destruction round? I think we all know the answer: MAAAAAAAYBEEEE!" "Also, you should treat Moxxi nice! NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!" "If you're still alive, grab some ammo. If you're not, THIS MESSAGE IS IRRELEVANT!" "The Vault Hunter is going through bandits faster than a fat kid in a cookie store! NOW I WANT COOKIES!" "KIDS THESE DAYS AND THEIR CRAZY LANGUAGE AM I RIGHT!?" "IT'S TIME FOR A LOOOOOT-SPLOSION!" "THIS IS MISTER TORGUE SAYING THAT I AM REALLY HUNGRY. SOMEBODY BRING ME A SANDWICH! ... END OF THE ANNOUNCEMENT." "This fight reminds me of my dad! ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS FAMILIES!" "A LOT OF PEOPLE BEEN ASKING ME WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKIN TIME. THE TORGUE SHAREHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, OR P*SSY F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS! THATS HALF MY F*CKIN' VOCABULARY, IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!" "BIG DEAL. I CAN USE INNUENDO TOO. TONIGHT'S FIGHT IS BETWEEN FLYBOY AND THE VAULT HUNTER...BLOWJOBS!" BY REGISTERING IN THE BADASS TOURNAMENT, YOU LEGALLY FORFEIT YOUR RIGHT TO CRY, EAT TOFU, OR WATCH MOVIES WHERE PEOPLE, KISS IN THE RAIN AND SH*T.

The same girl that had a crush on me tried to braid my hair...... I have really short hair. And when ever I ask her a question she comes over to my table and gets really close to me and answers it there. The girl I have a crush on and I think she has a crush on me, She laughs at EVERYTHING I do and say, And I asked her to sit at my table and she went over to my table happily.

Having an awkward ex and being forced to sit with her for the whole year. [spoiler]cringy[/spoiler]

Guy in study hall(hs) fapped to a dragon he drew Friends password to his school login was "Google". Logged on to his profile and filled his desktop screen with pictures of guys shirtless and folders that said gay porn. He had to give a presentation in class and when he logged in the whole class saw a bunch of shirtless guys.

One day the whitest kid in school ran up in a group of black guys and yelled "BAKED BEANS N1GGA!" He pulled baked beans out of his pockets and started throwing it at them.

When an Indian kid nicknames himself "Straight out of Sri Lanka."

Ugly lesbians that wore tails to school. Also on some days they wore those green cloaks from attack on Titan.

It's 12:30 in the middle of your math finals. You feel it you have to take a crap. "Excuse bitch I have to shit may I go?" "Yes" you leave the classroom you go to the restroom you unzip your pants and sit down. At the corner of your left eye it's a glory hole. "Wtf is this?" You look through it and something hits your eye "ahh Fock hey whoever you are ima beat you" you realize it wasn't a finger it was a dick you hear the other stall open he walks into yours as he sits on his throne as the fresh prince of bel air

You ever see someone drop their tray of food?

I had a crazy perverted history teacher last year.... One of my friends was kind of an idiot in class, but wasn't really all that disruptive, one day he did something the teacher didn't like, he said: *name disclosed*-I'm going to jerk you off left handed then pop you like a pimple. He also was very handsy (not inappropriately touching, but very touchy/feely) with a lot of girls in my class, and apparently other classes.

My entire school life...

Talking with this girl about her ex-bfs, when she brings up out of [i]nowhere[/i] "So yeah, my vagina is like 5 inches deep if you want to know" "I prefer around 8 inches because I have a big ass and the extra allows it to go all the way" "So how big is your penis?" "I would have done you but I don't want [i]another[/i] virginity on my head" WTF?! [spoiler]Nah I haven't hit it for various reasons of my own choice, I know someone would ask[/spoiler]

This..

When you realize your and your friend molested each other