The kids... all of them... those kids... THOSE VIRGINS!!! They turned my town into a wasteland of 12 years olds buying V-Bucks from the local GameStop. Now... now I’m all that’s left, the only sane gamer here. No battlepasses or battle royale, no shopping carts or flying buses... just me and SpiderMan. The only gamer left here. I can’t go outside without kids dancing in a horrific ritual... they surround my house... there’s only a little battery left in my controller and my cord broke, I don’t know how much longer I’ll make it...