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Modificato da The Orwell:
8/24/2018 8:20:06 PM
31
Sh*ty Jokes. I need 'em.
They sustain me.
[spoiler]Shovels were a ground-breaking invention.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]A Knife is cutting-edge technology[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Q: Why did the Scarecrow win an award?
A: He was outstanding in his field.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Q: Why did Caesar's feet hurt?
A: He was always Roman around.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Yesterday, I ate a clock. It was very time consuming...[/spoiler]
[spoiler]I would tell you a joke about Pizza, but it's a little cheesy...[/spoiler]
[spoiler]did you hear that new rumor about butter? Ah, never mind; I shouldn't spread it.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Q: What kind of bagel can fly?
A: a plain bagel.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Learning Braille wasn't that hard once I got a feel for it... [/spoiler]
English
#Offtopic
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What's brown and sticky? [spoiler]A stick[/spoiler]
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5 RisposteModificato da Romans43: 8/25/2018 5:07:20 AMWhat kind of bar does a Robin walk into? [spoiler]a crowbar[/spoiler]
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Modificato da TTT084: 8/27/2018 7:30:38 PMI gotch ya [spoiler] https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/245704334/0/0[/spoiler]
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How many chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [spoiler]One, but it takes six visits.[/spoiler]
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Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on. Why do mathematicians tend to marry larger women? Because they like curves. A camel meets an elephant. The elephant asks jokingly: “Why do you have two breasts on your back?” The camel replies: “With a face like yours, I’d just shut up.
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A clown held the door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
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1 RispondiI lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
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2 RisposteWhat's orange and sounds like a parrott? [spoiler]a carrot[/spoiler] What's grey and can't swim very well? [spoiler]a castle[/spoiler] I thought shitty jokes would be harsh, rather than cheesy - here's a bit of a harsh one to finish off: What's blue and doesn't fit any more? [spoiler]a dead epileptic[/spoiler]
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1 RispondiWhat did the slab of steak say to the other slab of steak? [spoiler]Nice to meat you[/spoiler]
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1 RispondiWhy did the monkey fall from the tree?[spoiler]It was dead[/spoiler]
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5 RisposteModificato da deatheater200: 8/24/2018 10:03:10 PMHow many Jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front. 3 in the back. 1 in the trunk 6 million in the ashtray. [spoiler]no shame. I’m Jewish [/spoiler]
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Modificato da One Shot Ted: 8/27/2018 12:10:38 AM[spoiler]Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my fuc[b][/b]kin' tractor?"[/spoiler]
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5 RisposteWhat does the F in Ethiopia stand for? [spoiler]It stands for food. [/spoiler] [spoiler]Plz don’t ban me, it’s just a joke[/spoiler]
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1 RispondiFortnite
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1 RispondiThree dudes are on an island and find a genie lamp in the bushes at the bottom of a hill with a cliff at the top. So the genie tells them "So here's how my wishes work. You run up the hill, jump off the cliff and call out the first thing you can think of. Whatever you call out, you transform into that thing." The first guy runs up to the top of the hill, jumps off: "I wanna be a bald eagle!" and *poof* he transforms into this beautiful bald eagle and starts flying around. The second guy was like "-blam!- yeah!" And runs up to the top and jumps: "I wanna be a fighter jet!" And *poof* he transforms into a top of the line, high tech fighter jet. He starts chasing the eagle around trying to shoot it. So the third guy sees and is like, "Ok! Too easy." So he runs up to the top of the hill, right as he gets to the edge and is about to jump, he trips over a rock and yells out "OH SHIT"
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2 Risposteidk if anyone else had said this already but, why did the chicken cross the road? [spoiler]to go to a respectable person's house[/spoiler] [spoiler]knock knock[/spoiler] [spoiler]the chicken is here[/spoiler]
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All of these are from the first 5 websites that you see when you look up good jokes
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1 RispondiWhats brown and sticky? [spoiler]A stick. I'm not sorry.[/spoiler]
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3 RisposteWhy did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the little girl cross the playground? To get to the other slide. Why did the small boy cross the amusement park? To get to the other ride. Why did the lion cross the savannah? To get to the other pride. Why did the groom cross the church? To get to the other bride. Why did the tanner cross his shop? To get to the other hide. Why did the sailor cross the ocean? To get to the other tide. Why did the explorer cross the Rockies? To get to the other divide.
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Why did the baseball player have flashbacks after bunting?[spoiler]It hit a liitle too close to home.[/spoiler] My doctor recommended rhinoplasty.[spoiler] Their advice was on the nose.[/spoiler] Went to the optometrist the other day. I was shocked when he said I was going blind.[spoiler]I never saw it coming.[/spoiler]
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... the cancer spreads... [spoiler]not included in the DLC[/spoiler] [spoiler]curse you Cayde-7[/spoiler]
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Modificato da ChewChew03: 8/25/2018 6:41:23 AMThe other day this guy came up to me and said “I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam!” And I said “Relax man you’re two tents”
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1 Rispondiwhat did the Irish guy say when he wanted pizza? [spoiler]irish i had pizza.[/spoiler]
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What do cats drive? [spoiler]cadillacs[/spoiler]
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2 RisposteJokes are terrible. Take them to off topic.
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7 RisposteWhy? Why are the worst kinds of jokes taking over #OffTopic? Take your jokes to a place where their appreciated.
