4 people. One has a bat. Two have plenty of sharp objects(swords, trench knives) 4th has a taser. I also own a shotgun. This enfoiré is dead.

I have a sword in the side of my bed. I'm not kiddding, I've learned to draw it pretty fast in those type of situations,. I'll genji that bitch Edit: if it's a handcannon, you know he's not gonna hit me

Get my AA-12 and charge out the bedroom door. BAM! BAM! BAM! *robber is ded* [spoiler]Long Live The Lone Star State[/spoiler]

I'm not gonna act like I haven't thought of this before. You have to out wierd him. First, I would rip off all my clothes and cover myself in about 2 gallons of Vaseline. I would get my rubber horse mask out of the closet, and put on my pair of crocs. ( so a naked man covered in Vaseline wearing nothing but a rubber horse mask and crocs) I would then take out my phone and absolutely CRANK the song YMCA by the Village people on my Bluetooth speaker to the point where all the other houses on my street could hear it. By now the burglar is already spooked by the YMCA blaring throughout my house, and he would try to run for the door. But, out of the corner of his eye he would see a light at the end of the hallway. With horror he would watch as the door would freak open to reveal some naked dude with a horse mask covered in Vaseline. YOUNG MAN I would absolutely sprint for the burglar THERES NO NEED TO BE DOWN He would sprint for the door I SAID YOUNG MAN He would slip and fall PICK YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND I'm almost to him I SAID YOUNG MAN He barely gets up in time and makes it to the door CAUSE YOUR IN A NEW TOWN He manages to make it out the door and starts sprinting towards the street THERES NO NEED TO BE UNHAPPY The last thing the man sees before escaping into the night is a naked horse man screaming the lyrics to YMCA dancing on his lawn Needless to say, I won't have anymore burglar problems.

Well I have a katana kept above my bed a decor so....

I know where your gonna put that bby... [SOMEONE POST A LENNY FACE FOR ME]

Well, I have dogs - very protective dogs. You also said we'd be awoken by a crash. Besides that, my wife's an extremely light sleeper, and I'm a super protective father and husband, firearms at the ready - at least a 12 gauge and a .45 within arms reach - always vigilant and ready to go terminator on any and all who may threaten my family. That being said, the intruder is a dead man, pure and simple.

Step 1: grab gun Step 2: shoot person that broke in Step 3: ??? Step 4: profit

Do this [spoiler]Pardon me, did you just threaten me eh? I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my class in the Canadian Politeness Force, and I've been involved in numerous secret runs to Tim Hortons, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in welcoming warfare and am the most passive aggressive member of the entire canadian population. You are a person that I have yet to make friends with. I will talk to you with kindness the likes of which have never been seen before on this earth, mark my passiveness. You think you can get away with not saying thank you? Think again, neighbour. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of syrup-drinking penguins across the northern territories and your IP is being traced so you better prepare for the gift baskets, buddy. The gift baskets that not only contain Gift cards, but donuts from tim hortons too. You're gonna be befriended, guy. I can be nice anywhere, anytime, and can be nice to you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just if I write letters. Not only am i extensively trained in passive aggressive combat, but I have access to the entire moose army of the Canadian Maple Leaf Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to welcome your friendly ass right into the neighbourhood. You little neighbourino. If you had only known what friendly retribution your comment was about to bring down, maybe you would have eaten poutine with me. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're gonna let me pay the bill because that's how nice I am, guy. I will put you in the hospital and it will cost nothing cause our healthcare is free. I'll say sorry now, friendo.[/spoiler]