Remember Lee’s post about a franchise that you love ruined by the fan base? Well, Harry Potter immediately jumped to mind for me. So I dug around on fanfic sites, reading pages and pages of shite. But one stuck out. It’s not just how bad this thing is. It’s about how much traction it gained. Read if you dare: https://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/ To give you a plot summary for those smart enough to not click the link, the main character is a vampire named Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way. She goes to Hogwarts, which is divided into the Goths and the Preppies (these are not House-based, although almost all Slytherins are Goth). The main character falls hopelessly in love with Draco Malfoy (who is bisexual, by the way) and they end up having sex in the Forbidden Forest. The are caught by Professor “Dumbledark” in this memorable scene: [quote] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" It was….Dumbledore! Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily. "You ludacris fools!" he shouted. I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry. "They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice. "Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. "How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape. And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."[/quote] Other points include Professor “Loopin” “masticating” on a Broomstick, Professors “McGoogle” and “Snope” constantly -blam!- students, members of the”My Chemical Romance” band (miraculously spelled correctly) morphing into Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. I can’t bear copying and pasting another scene, but the fanfic culminates in the main character pointing her wand at herself and crying: [quote] ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!!!!!!!11111[/quote] Look, anyone who has seen my stuff in #lore knows that I like fanfics. I even like Shadowheart’s stuff. But this... this is the most popular Harry Potter fanfic ever written. It even has its own Wikipedia page. Every day, we stray further from God.