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Modifié par Snarkii :
3/14/2016 9:45:06 PM
128
BAD DESTINY JOKES AND PUNS
☢ [b]WARNING: THESE ARE TERRIBLE[/b] ☢
Now if you've looked past the warning, prepare yourself for some [i]pretty[/i] terrible Destiny jokes and puns. There is a 99.9% chance your reaction will be either cringing or going "oh God".
Don't say I didn't warn you.
What did the annoyed Vex say to the other?
[spoiler]"You have [i]vexed[/i] me enough for today!"
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
What's a Raid Team's favorite gameshow?
[spoiler][i]Wipe[/i]out
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
How do you say "one moment" in the Crucible?
[spoiler]"Uno [i]Memento[/i]"
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
What do you call a Crucible map full of Nightstalkers?
[spoiler]Firebase [i]Stealthy[/i]
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
What do you call a blue, hooded owl?
[spoiler]"Master Ra-[i]hoo[/i]-[i]hoo[/i]-l"
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
When does Eris wake up?
[spoiler]Early in the [i]Morn[/i]
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
What's the Cabal's favorite sport?
[spoiler]Bas[i]cabal[/i]
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
Why didn't Crota treat his servants with kindness?
[spoiler]Being nice gave him [i]Hive[/i]s
[i]*Badum tss*[/i][/spoiler]
Why does Xûr drink in the corners of pubs?
[spoiler]He's prefers to be a [i]Dark Drinker[/i]
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
Why did the Thrall stare at the lantern?
[spoiler]It was [i]enthralled[/i] by its beauty
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
How did the Will of Crota eat her food?
[spoiler]In one big Omni[i]gulp[/i]
[i]*Badum tss*[/i]
[/spoiler]
Oh hey you survived!
"Am I out of terrible material" you ask?
[spoiler]No way, José, I'm adding more![/spoiler]
[b]EDIT[/b]: Heyyyyy guys, thanks for your wonderful compliments (i.e *barfs*, "Oh God my eyes", *cringe*), and making your own jokes! Here's to some lovely terrible jokes!
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3 commentairesA B C D E F G H I J K L M N *snipers* Q R S T U V W X Y Z Now i know my abc's, next time use your primary
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Girl did you just come from the lighthouse? [spoiler]because you are flawless[/spoiler]
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Modifié par Mythic : 3/19/2016 8:06:59 AMwhen a blade dancer blinks :P
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Oryk: hrey son Croat: hrey Oryk: y did teh chiken cross teh road Croat: idk y Oryk: to unpleg teh lan cabel Croat: dad y u do dis
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Bump for more forums lols
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3 commentairesModifié par Coreycrawford50 : 3/15/2016 2:32:45 AMWhy are jokes about raids so terrible? [spoiler]They're super cheesy[/spoiler]
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1 commentaireHelp... I've fallen and can't get up. Eh? Eh? [spoiler]I'll let myself out[/spoiler]
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14 commentairesI'm about to feel the hate...but this is mainly for girl post. You'll see when you read. [spoiler]Maybe this will be The First Curse but... I'll be the Ice Breaker. I have a Obsidian Mind and I'm gonna give you the Truth. I'm not a Vex offender but Baby I'm feeling really Thorny. Because you already gave me a Hard Light With your Gorgon's Gaze. We don't need a Chaperone. We can just go back to my place in Monte Carlo And use Fabians Stratagy, The Ram, or The Stag maneuver While listening to the Ace of Spades. Now with your Grips of No Tomorrow, Grab my Ghallahorn and watch the wolf pack rounds explode As you play with my Telesto. I'm the Lord of Wolves for a reason;) I don't have a Black Hammer, And I feel the need to mention I don't have Patience and Time, so you'll always see me coming. While I would never say Don't Touch Me, I need to know: Are you like the Templar and have Harpies? Or do you have the Red Death? Cause if not, I'd love to see your Dark Below. Just let your Nexus open, Move your Gatekeeper, And I'll eat your Lucky Rasberry, cause I got the Hunger of Crota. Just warn me before you Necrogasm. Hopefully my Luck In The Chamber works But don't worry about Hereafter, Cause I've got some Super Good Advice. It's not like we have No Back Up Plans, we'll just use Plan C. Maybe next time we can have the Shield Brothers over and the 4th Horseman. If you're into it, The Third Man can watch as you give me the Oracles delight. Needless to say but this may have been our Destiny to meet here because After me, there is No Land Beyond But I have to go, I have No Time To Explain. Until next time, I'll have The Last Word.[/spoiler]
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Are you an angel? [spoiler]cause you can make fire fly and you're an outlaw round here. But the stars sing so you are given entrance. Yet the templar stops you from entering.. And there's no assassins.. So maybe the vex will like you,but being new,you'll be hated My dear angel.. If you drop,I'll catch you There were 5 others like you.. But none can compare.. I long for thee My dearest angel.[/spoiler] [spoiler]if you don't get it,you obviously don't read lore or you've never raided[/spoiler] [spoiler]try and guess[/spoiler]
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5 commentairesWhy are women the best destiny players? [spoiler]because they always have the last word[/spoiler]
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6 commentairesWhy doesn't bungie want to take a math class[spoiler]because they're afraid of the division [/spoiler]
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What is every Guardian's favorite Will Smith movie? [spoiler]I Am Legend[/spoiler] How old were the Wizards in vanilla Destiny? [spoiler]77[/spoiler] Why does Eris smell so bad? [spoiler]She just made it out of Crota's End[/spoiler] I've noticed female Guardians smiling at me a lot more recently... [spoiler]All I did was flash them with my Hard Light[/spoiler] Why can't I hear the Traveler? [spoiler]He has only one Speaker[/spoiler] What did Arach Jalaal say after Zavala told him "thanks for the tip?" [spoiler]"Just the tip."[/spoiler] Which Destiny map were Edward and Bella buried at? [spoiler]Twilight Gap[/spoiler] What weapon does Tom Cruise always drop? [spoiler]Truth[/spoiler] Big Gay Al just wrote a textbook, what's it called? [spoiler]Super Good Advice[/spoiler] What is the Archon Priest's least favorite map? [spoiler]Burning Shrine[/spoiler] Why did the White Walkers side with Draksis? [spoiler]He belonged to the House of Winter[/spoiler] Where do PVP Guardians stay when not in the Crucible? [spoiler]With their Shaxx[/spoiler]
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Mida Multi Tool
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What's the difference between bungie and Hasbro? [spoiler]Bungie has more nerfed guns[/spoiler]
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2 commentairesAre you a sync plate [spoiler]Because my spire is rising[/spoiler]
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Modifié par JediMPG : 3/17/2016 6:12:57 AMWhat's a Hunter's favorite song? [spoiler]The Ace of Spades[/spoiler] What does the Queen say when she wakes up in the morning? [spoiler]"I have awoken!"[/spoiler]
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Bruh....
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I'm a snaaaaake
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1 commentaireDo you have a sync plate in your pants? [spoiler]because my spire is rising[/spoiler]
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9 commentairesWhy was the shotgun wedding ruined? [spoiler]Party Crasher[/spoiler]
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3 commentairesPlan C failed and I have No Back Up Plans. It's the sad Truth.
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When Crota glitches and teleports in front of you
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Damn Daniel
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Modifié par Snarkii : 3/15/2016 8:21:30 PMWhat do you call a Guardian with a full magazine to each of their weapons? [spoiler]War[i]locked[/i] and loaded! [i]*Badum tss*[/i][/spoiler]
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I played division for 2 hours and I already hate it. I prefer addition.
