A friend told me this story about a friend his dad had in college. This friend of his was notorious for farting on people's lunch when they went somewhere. One day, this kid leaves his lunch to go to the bathroom. His dad's friend goes to do his thing. But he ended up taking a giant shit on the person's food. He walked away awkwardly, then the kid comes back from the bathroom to find his food covered in shit. He just left it there, didn't attempt to clean it up (who would try?). Laugh like crazy after that story is brought up. What do you have?