Fun Santa facts! •he's an old man who watches you when you're sleeping •he knows if your awake •he enters your home in the middle of the night •he only cums*cough* I mean, COMES once a year •he wants you to sit on his lap while he touches you •he enslaved an army of midgets or umpalumpas or whatever the f*** they're supposed to be •he's been charged with several cases of pedophilia [spoiler]•also, Santa contains the very same letters as Satan! Coincidence? I didn't think so! Is it also a coincidence that Saint Nick rhymes with Satanic? That's right... Santa is the devil confirmed.[/spoiler]