Me and my 11 year old play together.
He hears swear words at school, occasionally from me (I'm teaching him the beauty of using language mindfully and with intention and not avoiding subjects) and knows the difference between saying -blam!- and -blam!- off to somebody so it isn't an issue through chat.
The game to us is a puzzle or a sport, it just so happens that the game is pretty with world physics and textures.
We don't really see it as marine training for an alien invasion in real life and he's the least violent being I know. That won't change...it's all down to the parenting or whether your child already has some social issues.
The key is to not let gaming be their sole hobby. We play badminton and football regular and next year he'll be going to his first festival with me.
Now if this was GTA with its ridiculous strippers and pimps everywhere and swearing for the sake of it, i would agree.
As it is we love us a good fps match. It's a beautiful escapism and destiny is one of the more child friendly of them out there right now.
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