I used to be exactly like you. Finished games with good scores, decent KD's but I never walked away from a game happy. I never had fun, I just did it cause it was there. So then I just totally stayed away from cruicible for months and months. It wasn't til Trials came round and a couple mates talked me into it that I jumped into it again. Our first attempt we failed. Then a few days later 1 of those friends was talking to a random and them 2 convinced me to do trials again, then we went flawless. From there I started to enjoy cruicible. Just running around with a mate or 2 in clash/control, was pretty fun! Then I made a Titan, levelled it up for defender first, and now I just run around popping bubbles. There was a game on Burning shrine I had the other day where I went 24-4 and I think I got my super 6 times! It has it's ups and downs for me still, but I'm starting to enjoy it a little more