Bungie: We noticed you're not using the guns that suck the most in this game. So we're going to make them better! Omagic: Sweet! Bungie: Oh, and we're going to make all the other guns suck more. Omagic: "Wait, what?! Bungie: Well, since the game came out you've been using certain guns a certain way and we don't think they should be used that way any more. Did we mention that these are also the guns that you all use the most? Wait...here's a table. See! Data to show that you really like these guns. Omagic: Uuuhuh? ...That's cool, I guess. Seems most people like to play the game the same way I do. Bungie: Yeah, no. We need to fu.ck with that. Omagic: Really? Why? I think it's safe to say you're not going to get a happy response to this. See...here's your table. I'm guessing everyone who's not that...let's see...2 to 6%, yeah, they're gonna be kinda pissed by this. Bungie: ...yeah. Well, see...Let me introduce you to Jon. Jon Weisnewski. Omagic: HOLY SHIT! Err..I mean, um hi Jon. Wow, Jon's looking really rough. Kind of like if Sad, Lonely, and Malnurished had a baby with Lorde. Bungie: We... err...he, well. Here's the thing. He's my fiancé's brother. I had to get him a job 'cause, like, her dad's a fuc.king borderline sociopath, and I'm pretty sure he was going to feed me to his ocelot farm. Omagic: Ocelo...what?! What the fu.ck are you talking about? Bungie: Dude's got a freakin gaggle of those things. I don't know, I'm not even sure what a large group of Ocelots is called. I mean their cats so it's not like they're a pack of Ocelots. Or a herd. Plus, did you know that an ocelot is a solitary creature? Omagic: Solitary??? Bungie: Yeah! So this pride of Ocelots her dad has, there's, like, not a single fu.ck given by any of them. They're that cranky! Omagic: Oh my god stop! Stop it now. Please get to the point! Bungie: Right. So Jon's the guy that designs all of our pulse rifles. Well, not really designs, but he's a creative consultant...for the pulse rifles. Omagic: ...... Bungie: He pointed his fingers and said "pew, pew, pew!!" really fast. We made those pulse rifles. Point is he's been whining to no end that no one uses his stupid "pew, pew, pew" guns. And his dad has started restricting his ocelot's diets again. I'm not going out by no god damn ocelot! Who dies that way! Omagic: This isn't happening... Fine, whatever. Have you at least fixed the heavy ammo problem yet? Bungie: ...no. Omagic: Will you at least confirm that the next expansion will be here in March? Bungie: ...no. It won't be out till second quarter. Omagic: ...you. ...just. Motherfuc.ker. Bungie: ...you're still going to keep playing though aren't you? Omagic: Sigh. Yes, yes of-bloody-course I'm going to keep playing. Stop smirking. I fu.cking hate you. Gawd! Tell me you at least got obnoxious amounts of grateful-for-helping-out-my-retarded-brother sex from your fiancé? Bungie: Hell yeah!! Omagic: That makes me feel a little bit better.