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Arise from the dead post (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

This is a bump [spoiler]But is it really?[/spoiler]

NECRO. LIVE MY YOUNG CHILD!!!!! LIVVVVVEEEEE

MOAR

REVIVE THIS POST

You were on your way home when you died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me. And that’s when you met me. “What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?” “You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words. “There was a… a truck and it was skidding…” “Yup,” I said. “I… I died?” “Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said. You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?” “More or less,” I said. “Are you god?” You asked. “Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.” “My kids… my wife,” you said. “What about them?” “Will they be all right?” “That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.” You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty. “Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.” “Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?” “Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.” “Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,” “All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.” You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?” “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.” “So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.” “Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.” I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had. “You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.” “How many times have I been reincarnated, then?” “Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.” “Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?” “Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.” “Where you come from?” You said. “Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.” “Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.” “Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.” “So what’s the point of it all?” “Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?” “Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted. I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.” “You mean mankind? You want us to mature?” “No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.” “Just me? What about everyone else?” “There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.” You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…” “All you. Different incarnations of you.” “Wait. I’m everyone!?” “Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back. “I’m every human being who ever lived?” “Or who will ever live, yes.” “I’m Abraham Lincoln?” “And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added. “I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled. “And you’re the millions he killed.” “I’m Jesus?” “And you’re everyone who followed him.” You fell silent. “Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.” You thought for a long time. “Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?” “Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.” “Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?” “No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.” “So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…” "An egg"I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.” And I sent you on your way. [spoiler]this is written by andy meir[/spoiler]

An Unstoppable Force hits an Immovable Object... What happens? EDIT: I'm still seeing movie references after several months now, this is a legitimate question, not a quote [spoiler]First one to get it right gets a cookie[/spoiler]

This may or may not kill you 0=0 right? Subtract twenty on both sides -20=-20 -20 can be written two ways 16-36=25-45 Now we add 81/4 to both sides 16-36+81/4=25-45+81/4 Now we turn this first equation into foil form it turns into this (4+9/2)squared The second one is (5+9/2)squared We now get rid of the parentheses and subtract the 9/2 4=5 4 equals two plus two so in theory 2+2=5[spoiler]i am not responsible for the deaths from this comment[/spoiler]

#1. Russia has a larger surface area than Pluto. #2. Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire. #3. France was still executing people by guillotine when Star Wars: A New Hope hit theatres. #4. Nintendo was originally a trading card company. #5. If the sun were the size of a white blood cell then the Milky Way Galaxy would be the size of the United States. #6. There are more stars in space than there are grains of sand on every beach in the world #7. For every human on Earth there are 1.6 million ants. #8. The total weight of all those ants, however, is about the same as all the humans. #9. On Jupiter and Saturn it rains diamonds. #10. Ten percent of all the photos ever taken were taken in the last 12 months. #11. Shakespeare made up the name “Jessica” for his play Merchant of Venice. #12. Your chances of being killed by a vending machine are actually twice as large as your chance of being bitten by a shark. #13. Nowhere in the Humpty Dumpty Nursery Rhyme does it say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg. #14. Armadillos almost always give birth to quadruplets. #15. Scotland’s national animal is the unicorn. #16. There are more fake flamingos in the world than real ones. #17. John Tyler, the 10th president of the US, was born in 1790. He has a grandson that is alive today. #18. A strawberry is NOT a berry. #19. A banana IS a berry. #20. There is enough water in Lake Superior to cover all of North and South America in one foot of liquid #21. An octopus has three hearts. #22. There are 10 times more bacteria in your body than actual body cells. #23. There is only one country between North Korea and Norway. #24. New York City is farther south than Rome, Italy #25. Maine is the closest US state to Africa.

Isn't it funny how the the human mind doesn't process reading two "the's" when they are next to each other in the same sentence? Read it again :) Do this in your head, What's 1+1? What's 2+2? What's 4+4? What's 8+8? Name a vegetable. [spoiler]Was it a carrot?[/spoiler] Count every " F " in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY ? 3? WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke. READ IT AGAIN ! Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down. The reasoning behind is further down. [spoiler]The brain cannot process "OF".[/spoiler] Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. Cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The Phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, It deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae . The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If You can raed this psas it on !!

There's a room that has two doors. One of the doors leads to freedom. In front of both doors stands a guard. The other guard always tells the truth and the other always lies. You dont know which one tells the truth and which on lies. How can you determine which door leads to freedom when you only have one question and the guards can only answer yes or no?

What if Pinocchio says "My nose will grow." Then what?

What breaths, yet doesn't not have lungs?

Everything you have done, every single thing that has happened, every single choice you have made. Brought you to this moment right here right now to read this. Think about that for a moment... Before you go, leave with this thought, a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: "Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again."

Everyone in a a town who doesn't shave himself, gets shaved by the barber. If this is true, who shaves the barber? This question is unanswerable by the worlds smartest supercomputers.

The next sentence is true. The previous sentence was false.

Riddle time? 1.)What has roots as nobody sees, is taller than trees, up, up it goes, and yet never grows? 2.)Thirty white horses on a red hill, first they champ, then they stamp, then they stand still. What am I? 3.)Voiceless it cries, wingless flutters, toothless bites, mouthless mutters. What am I? 4.)It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, and empty holes it fills. It comes first and follows after, ends life, kills laughter. What am I? 5.)A box without hinges, key or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid. What am I? 6.)Alive without breath, as cold as death, never thirsty, ever drinking, all in mail never clinking. What am I? 7.)This thing all things devours, birds , beasts, trees, flowers. Gnaws iron, bites steel. Grinds hard stone to meal. Slays kings, ruins town, and beats high mountain down. What am I? [spoiler]bonus points if you can tell me where these are from and which riddle I didn't include[/spoiler]