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Edited by Autolycus:
9/30/2014 12:22:29 AM
50
Toss your very worst jokes here
Please toss all of your worst jokes here. I want the worst of the worst. Jokes so bad that those who read them will rip out their eyes. Everything, nerdy to dirty is on the table Got it? Ok, I'll start it off:
A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church, and the preacher says, "You can't come in here!" The particle replies, "Why not?" "Because people call you the god particle, it's heretical," the preacher says. "Yeah, but without me, you couldn't have mass."
The jokes deemed worst of the worst shall go here:
[quote]You know it's cold outside when you go outside and its cold.
In 1963, a child walked into a library. [spoiler]And saw books.[/spoiler]
You can eat poisonous mushrooms, but only once.
What do a fly and a whale have in common? [spoiler]I don't -blam!-ing know, Google it.[/spoiler]
What do they call black people in the south? [spoiler]Black people.[/spoiler]
-SwaguSenpai[/quote]
[quote]Why did Sally fall off the swings?
[spoiler] because she had no arms[/spoiler]
Knock knock
Who's there
[spoiler] not Sally[/spoiler]
-Hallow3dBody[/quote]
[quote]What do you get a kid with no arms for christmas?
[spoiler] Gloves![/spoiler]
[spoiler] Just kidding. They haven't opened it yet.[/spoiler]
-Carnivalhala[/quote]
[quote]What is white and can't climb trees?
[spoiler]a fridge[/spoiler]
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
[spoiler]someone threw the fridge at it[/spoiler]
Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
[spoiler]it was taped to the monkey[/spoiler]
-hsvaginedotcom[/quote]
[quote]Some guy asked me if vegetables feel pain, I said 'I don't know let me go hit my daughter'
-ShaDowZMan217[/quote]
[quote]A man runs into a bar and short on breath he exclaims "does anyone own a six foot penguin?!"
The patrons shake their heads confusedly...
[spoiler]"Well, [b]fuc[/b]k, I've ran over a nun". [/spoiler]
-Wow its GaMBiT[/quote]
[url=http://youtu.be/_Rav9ijyyZk]HA HA HA[/url]
[url=http://youtu.be/6zXDo4dL7SU]ba dum tss[/url]
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3 RepliesThere are ten types of people in the world. Those that know binary and those that do not. Not so much a joke but something that's silly: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? No but I scrapped my knees crawling out of hell.
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"Girl you turn my software into hardware" -Bill Gates
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1 ReplyWhy did the sperm cross the road? [spoiler]Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning. [/spoiler]
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Destiny's story
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There was a fire down the street where a mother and her son lived. They go to see how it's going. While watching the fire. The son looks at the fire fighters in amazement and looks to his mom and says "I want to be a firefighter when I grow up". Then the mother turns to him chuckling and says "oh son you won't grow up, you have leukemia".
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[b] [/b]
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1 ReplyJax, Fl joke: A police officer was driving down Interstate 10 when he noticed a car going very slow. Being under the minimum speed limit, he pulled it over. Looking into the driver's window, he saw a small elderly woman. He asked her, "Mam, do you know how fast you were going?" She replied, "Why yes officer, 10 miles per hour, the speed limit." Noticing her mistake, he said, "Actually Mam, this is I-95 and the speed limit is 65." Just then he noticed two more elderly women in the back of the car, both were shivering and shaking. He asked them, "Are you alright?" One of them replied, [spoiler]She just got off of I-295!!![/spoiler]
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Why did the Chicken cross the road? [spoiler]Because it wanted to get to the [i]other[/i] side. It's actually a metaphor for the hardship of a depressed chicken, who only want to get out of his life. So he got hit by a car. [/spoiler]
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Oh my, the necro on this. I shall contribute nonetheless. [spoiler]Two men walk into a bar. [u][i][b]OUCH[/b][/i][/u][/spoiler]
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Edited by lVlagic lVl: 1/6/2015 3:46:04 AMQ: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: he was dead Q2: why did the frog fall out of the tree? [spoiler]HE WAS STAPLED TO THE MONKEY!![/spoiler]
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You know why the grimmoir cards stop telling story's at saturn? [spoiler]cause activision has cut out Uranus :D[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyObama.
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What's funny and sounds like a joke? [spoiler]A funny joke.[/spoiler]
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What do you buy a Jew for Christmas? [spoiler]an easy bake oven[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyEdited by Wintr: 9/29/2014 5:44:44 PMA man runs into a bar and short on breath he exclaims "does anyone own a six foot penguin?!" The patrons shake their heads confusedly... [spoiler]"Well, [b]fuc[/b]k, I've ran over a nun". [/spoiler]
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1 ReplyI have a shitload of copypastas if that counts
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A duck walks into a bar. He takes a seat and the bartender ask the duck "What are you havin?" The duck doesn't respond. The bartender looks at the duck and says, "Oh look, a duck."
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Why did the incestuous uncle buy a Honda? [spoiler]because he couldn't turn his Nissan[/spoiler]
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*Knock knock* Who's there?! ...... Door.
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1 ReplyStephen Hawking walks into a bar.
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That -blam!-ing last one holy shit my sides
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I prordered destiny
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Edited by AmatoxinAnthrax: 9/29/2014 5:59:18 PMWhat's the diffrent between a 7 year old and my fridge? [spoiler]My fridge dosnt cry when I put my meat in it[/spoiler]
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Why did the chicken cross the road? [spoiler]to get to the other side[/spoiler] Why did the dead baby cross the road? [spoiler]it was stapled to the chicken[/spoiler]
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123 Robert E. Lee 321 [spoiler]the south should have won[/spoiler]
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Why did Tigger look in the toilet? [spoiler]He was looking for Pooh.[/spoiler]
