Hey, don't feel so down on yourself...it may not seem all that great for you now, but what's today isn't necessarily going to be tomorrow. You're still young, you have time to change, to grow. You may not become the most sociable person in the world, but you could improve enough to be happy with yourself, and that's all that counts. Don't hate your life for what it is, love it for what it could be, and I have faith you can make any change you want to make (within reason) with enough time and effort. And even with all the bad that happens in the world, I still don't discount the possibility of a god. It's just that either they have their own plan that I strongly disagree with or they turned a blind eye to that situation.