Don't you accept the Spaghetti Monster as your one true lord and deity?
[i] Be touched by his noodly appendage. [/i]
English
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I got touched by it once. It was kinda awkward, and afterwards he mumbled something about needing to be somewhere and left. He still hasn't called back, he left his wallet.
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You must now embark on a journey. A journey that could take months, years, or even decades. Once you have proven your dedication to the great Spaghetti Monster by seeking him out and returning that which he "forgot", you will be accepted as a true Pastafarian and then shall ascend with him into the great Ramen Bowl in the sky.
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I tried, but he doesn't answer his phone.
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Fool, he does not use such primitive technology. The only possible way to contact him other than seeking him out at the end of your great journey is to acquire the longest noodle you can possibly find, 2 tin cans and journey to the great central hub of Pastaland. Or Italy as most call it. From thereon you must trust your instincts to guide you to the Holy Hole of Macaroni. It is then that you must meditate and offer praise to all kinds of pasta before attaching your long noodle to the tin cans and throwing one into the hole. If your prayers were satisfactory then you shall be answered, if not then you are not worthy of his Holiness.
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Then I shall embark, wise sage, on my journey. May the sauce be thick and plentiful upon your visage.