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12/14/2021 6:02:11 PM
2
Man, you're getting better with each new story. Pacing was really good, and the calm tone was an excellent fit for juxtaposing his madness. What made you get away from the long strings of dialouge for this one, since you're usually pretty heavy on it?
English
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I wanted you to feel the self-absorption of this character and their ideals. They are never really contested, and up until the end never face consequence. This narration is happening post-drowning, so you can see even in death they regret nothing and see no side but their own. Nobody is able to scream reason at them or make them question their actions. The killer truly believes they are doing the right thing by preserving the campers so they’ll never have to leave, but in reality what matters to them is the camp itself. They make a point of how the camp is still standing after all these years thanks to those that died. Complete self-absorption. They even say it took only a moment to decide on a course of action, and they never thought about it twice.
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Ah right, you can create that uncomfortable horror feeling by contradicting the reader's clear sense of morality with the character's obvious sense of depravity. It's very clever, to force the reader to engage with insanity by making it the only viewpoint. There's a feeling of inevitablity, as if there was nothing nobody could have done.
