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5/26/2020 5:17:55 PM
27
*A ranger meanders in from the left, cloak cowl back and sword on hip. Upon seeing the potentially violent scene he draws his sword and demands:*
"What's going on here!?"
English
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“Oh my gods!” One of the thieves yells. “Not another one of the overly powered crusaders who happens to be in the exact location of our petty theft! Already had more than three crimes and hundreds of men lost because of the likes of you people. So let’s make this simple.” The bandit leader says. Suddenly a bandit comes up from behind the bard and puts a knife on his throat. “You walk away now or he dies.” “He’s got a point” the bard says “scenes like this are overly used.
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*I look quizzically at the bard then the bandits.* "Well...yes, I suppose it is actually. I never really thought about it...come to think of it, I'm not even sure why I decided to come back here. Now that is curious." *Seeing the bard under knife point, I slowly reach for my bow.* "If this is cliche, then I'll probably end up shooting you or something. Must the show go on?"
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“No you will not shoot me. You see In movies this ploy always works. I get the money and if you shoot I take the bards life. It totally works” the thug says. The others draw there weapons and the bard rolls his eyes.
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"That's a good point, it [i]never[/i] works out for the hero I'm these cases..." *I raise an eyebrow then have an idea. I seem to look over the man with the knife's shoulder and sigh.* "Oh come on...You guys are right, super heroes do show up too much."
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“Good. You understand. Now scram before I turn this bard into a metaphor for a dead person!” The thug says. The bandit don’t look well equipped or armored at all. The bard begins speaking saying don’t listen to them and save yourself things like he would if he was in the position he is in right now but in a movie. All out of context of course.
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"Wait, I mean that another super hero literally just came out of stage right to plot conveniently take care of this hostage crisis." *I point right behind the man.*
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“Oh my not another one of you costumed freaks! I hate this town!” The thug says when looking behind him.
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*I swiftly draw back my bowstring and fire at the man's hand that is holding the knife. As the mugger realizes that there is in fact no one behind him, I softly whistle the mockingjay call as I let fly the arrow.*
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The arrow strikes the bandit in the hand and he drops the bard. “Not cool. You tricked me! Is there any way we can bribe you to walk away. I do really want to steal this elf’s treasure but you hero’s are being real mean.”
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"[i]I'm[/i] mean? You're trying to rob this man, man! Why, all I'm guilty of is surreptitious placement in a plotline!" *I set another arrow to my string.* "Why don't we all just forget this happened, and you can live on to see as many plays as you want, but with less muggings."
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Edited by Warlock Holmes: 5/26/2020 7:23:16 PM“Objection good sir bowman” the bard says “ mugging a are good for plots. Even uncle Ben got mugged and killed. Same with Batman’s parents. I believe they should continue but these lands have stronger hero’s than the current bandits. Only if we had some eldritch horror or something.” The bandits look unsure. “I don’t know. After all that happened tonight I kind of just want to go home. Although I want your money too.”
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*I look oddly at the bard once more then slowly raises my finger and point at him seriously.* "Oi, don't bring up Uncle Ben, that's not cool." *I look over at the bandits.* "Well, if I won't be bribed, how about you? How does 15 gold pands sound for paying to leave?"
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“But he is a great plot point for further discovery.” The bard protests. “Alright 15 sounds good.” The bandit says and then he emphasizes his last word “[i]Each[/i]”. The other bandits approach expecting there money.
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"Oh, that's quite a bit more. How about six a piece and an autograph from our bard friend here? That will be worth something someday, I'd hope."
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“A signature from this fool! Hah I doubt it!” The thug says. “Are you Sure? If you don’t accept my signature you will lose out on the invested value for the future. Later in life you will contemplate why you didn’t accept the offer and then a alternative universe will form in where you do accept the offer so you will tear open a whole in reality and attempt to neutralize the alternate version of yourself so you can have his fortune. Actually that one sounds more entertaining. Don’t accept my signature please. But I am willing to sign because you have to decline yourself and regret your mistake.” The bard rants. “I don’t know anymore!” The thief yells! “Why couldn’t I pick a less complicated career like rocket science! What do you think Mr. Robinhood.”
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"Yes, this is all rather confusing for a seemingly random bandit encounter. Here, I'll give you all 7 gold apiece and you'll get the autograph. Then you can go to college and get that degree in rocket science, what say you?"
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“Fine. We shall accept that. No more confusing scenarios.” The thug says. “Well this was a fun plot twist” the bard says while signing his autograph.
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"Indeed, you don't get mugged, I don't waste arrows, and you all don't get shot plus you get free merchandise! I'd say this a win-win-win."
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“Although my show included the mugging. It was important for the script.”
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"That's some script. But weren't you worried you would, you know, actually be mugged and hurt?"
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“If I was mugged and hurt then so what. I will not die and then can create a Monologe or soliloquy.”
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"[i]Hopefully[/i] you wouldn't die. Still, speeches are fun, so I can't blame you there. What shall you do now that the curtains are falling?"
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“Hmm I don’t know. I suppose my character must be introduced and reacted towards yours.”
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*Raises an eyebrow.* "Right... Well then, my name is Ring, what's yours, good bard?"
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“Hmmm well I haven’t though of much for a official title. I am currently know as the bard or the elf or whatever other terms I have written in there. Maybe something like Maeron or Antali. I like the ring to both of them and the amount of syllables.”
