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Edited by Haknir:
1/8/2018 5:27:28 AM
2
I did really like the story, you made it seem real enough. However, my little bit of constructive criticism is that I still have no idea what it was or why it was there. But other than that, great story for the first one.
[spoiler]And sometimes (only [i]sometimes[/i]) the “Why” for something happening should be left unanswered, to give it a little creepy mystery. (Learned that from videogamedunkey on his video reviewing The Shining.)[/spoiler]
English
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Just posted another one. I'm working on a very long one atm. But it won't be finished for another week or two. The one I'm working on will be very good. Hope you like the new one though. Better than this one.
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Thanks for the feedback. I want them to seem real though. Although they're not. Just like an author escapes in his work or her work. They treat it like it's real. They get invested in their characters and give them heavy-personalities.
