{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
7/1/2017 10:12:03 AM
10
First bump.
Can't wait to find out what class she is.
You should try putting more details into the story. Right now it's mostly dialogue, which is great for keeping the story going, but more detail will enhance the readers' experience.
Great job
English
-
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
-
You can't kill me, m8. Im the all-powerful writer of Blank Slate. So try me, m9. The first bump is mine. (Notice my sick rhymes)
-
They are terrible.
-
That was the point
-
Yes, they are utterly horrible
-
Lol. It was just the last line. The other part was actually funny.
-
Edited by 404: 7/1/2017 10:31:29 AMThanks :) Sorry. The next chapter should be more detailed it's just like I couldn't find the write descriptions to use for this chapter and I was kinda rushing to finish it XD
-
This chapter didn't have much action more than a little walking, so the amount of description is good. Good luck with the next chapter
-
Sorry, I think I'm gonna do this chapter in 2 parts and probably make a lot more action in future chapters lol, thanks. I'll probably make another chapter later to make up for the lack of action.
-
I didn't only mean fighting action, but stuff like moving around. Since this chapter was about Yang getting introduced to the Tower, you have a good amount of action
